Little Pleasures // Homelife

 

 

Simple little pleasures like adorable eggs, soft cartons and sunshine in apartment windows are making my days sweet and nice.

 

It's our second April together as a married couple and it has been so sweet.

 

And just like Anne said, it isn't about the splendid or wonderful; it's more about the little pleasures which sweeten each day. Be sure to tell of your little joys -- I'd love to hear them!

 

Blessings and love and coffee,

                  

Awfully, Painfully, Terribly Awkward // Baby Series Part 1

// photo credit //

 

I have a love-hate relationship with children.

I love the idea of children, the joy they radiate and the feelings of motherliness I get when I tend to them.

But I struggle with the real deal, the in-your-face with peanut butter and jelly stains, rambunctious and sometimes naughty reality of children.

p.s. I'm laughing as I write this article. Just so you know, I don't hate children (at all). But I am terribly, awfully, painfully awkward around them ... let's proceed with examples.

Growing up, my sister and I babysat as a team. Allie was the fun, game playing, diaper changing, order-keeping sister. And while she kept the children at bay I enjoyed cleaning the house. Having inherited my dad's fear of holding small, plushy babies I didn't learn how to properly change a diaper until I was nineteen and hired at a daycare. (Can you imagined my boss' thoughts when she learned her employee didn't even know how to change a diaper!? HA!) At twenty-five I battle being irritated with the quirks of students.

Some women seem to love everything about children ... I get cranky after one hour of babysitting.

My mom encourages me that it will be different when I have my own children. And while I am grateful for the encouragement I can't but wonder what I can do to change. How can I learn to thoroughly enjoy children, to discover the joy in the mess? How do I change a twenty-five year old habit when I'm serious minded and more prone to adult conversation than play?

Prayer and time.

I'm convinced that these alone will change my attitude. I don't want to just be tolerant -- I want to accept unreservedly.

Coming up, I will share how God has been changing my heart toward children. I'll also write a little something on the patience in waiting for a child. Both are relevant to my life today.

// Click here to head on to part two //

Question: Do you relate well with children? If not, how have you learned to overcome? I'd love to learn from you --  and laugh with you too!

With love, coffee and blessings!

              

 

p.s.s. My friend Angel wrote an excellent piece on this very topic so if you love children, want to learn to love children or love random wedding pictures do check her site out. :)

 

p.s.s.s. If you're reading this and I've babysat your children before ... please don't freak out thinking I hated watching your precious babies! Ha! Not true. Every child I have watched (and there have been many) are special bundles of personality that I love and appreciate and I look forward to watching in the future.  

 

Springtime Home

 

Home, the spot of earth supremely blest,
A dearer, sweeter spot than all the rest.

 Robert Montgomery

 

Home is such a special, special place. A place for laughter, sleep and cozying up with loved ones. In springtime home is even more warm despite the chilly March breezes. What is your favorite part of spring? Do tell, dear one.

 

Love and blessings!

             

55 Things I've Learned After Being Married for One Year

I can't believe it. I can't believe that Dalton and I have been married for exactly one year today. A lot of time has passed since that lovely March day; a lot of love, memories and lessons have occurred within our glorious year. Overall, I would say that our first year has been pretty easy; of course, we've had our arguments and our disappointments but theses things have only driven us closer.

Below are fifty-five things I have learned during this first year. Some are fun and silly while others are more serious; each have helped make me into the woman I am today. I look forward to seeing who I will be next year and the year after that. God bless each of you as you read this -- may it inspire, humor and bless you in your own adventures!

1. Marriage, in God's will, is one of His greatest, most kind, gifts to mankind

2. Breakfast doesn't make itself

3. But real men make breakfast (thank you, Dalton! xoxoxo!)

4. Marriage really does take a lot of work

5. And patience

6. And grace

7. Grocery shopping with Dalton is a real treat (I had always imagined I'd shop alone as my dad never went with us. :)

8. You really can live (well!) on one income

9. When buying furniture it is far better to wait for the right style, price and time than jumping into a bargain you'll regret later

10. Babies aren't just made

11. But contentment in the waiting will make you (and your spouse) grow closer to each other and the Lord

12. Homesickness is inevitable

13. And it is okay

14. But when homesickness sweeps over you, don't run home. Run to your beloved and share your heart. You'll grow through it.

15. Arguments will happen (even when you're the perfect couple!)

16. But most of the arguments will be based on miscommunication

17. Your spouse cannot read your mind and he shouldn't have to

18. Going on a date can be as simple as walking through the mall together ... the time together is oh, so priceless!

19. Husbands love to have their jokes laughed at ... but they want you to be real! ;)

20. Dalton cannot stand popping knuckles ... if I pop them while he sleeps he hears it and gives a little grunt of disapproval :D

21. Being your mate's biggest fan and advocate is *so* important. Criticizing him or allowing others to criticize him is a big no-no and a trust breaker. I learned this the hard way. Always, be on your mate's team ... you'll never regret having their trust!

22. Being thrifty can be really fun

23. But sometimes going cheap is not worth it (like buying cheap toilet paper which rips ... du du duuuuuum!)

24. The first few months of marriage will probably be a little tight in the budget ... but don't fret! In about 3 months you'll have the budget set, utilities scheduled, and furnishings furnished and you can begin to relax.

25. Husbands want to know if they're "getting fat " sometimes ... and they want an honest answer

26. Celebrating "month-a-versaries" is really fun!!

27. Riding the bus is actually ... really easy

28. Decorations can be bought little by little each year. Our Christmas tree was given to us and our ornaments were made from a package of potpourri ... but it was truly beautiful and definitely "us." I've found it far more satisfying to stay within budget and buy a little to set up home then go into debt (or over budget).

29. But remember, the budget isn't meant to be a hateful, slave master constantly whipping your backs. If you find that you can agree that the purchase is necessary then go for it! :)

30. Tubs need to be scrubbed every few months ... otherwise they get this gross ring around the edge and your sister will have to scrub it when she comes to visit they get gross.

31. Your Momma is really, really going to miss you (and you her). Bless her, call her, text her, send letter to her ... do all that you can to make this transition easier for the dear woman who has loved you all your life. I wish I had done more of this in the beginning!! <3 p="">
32. A man who makes you coffee is a man worth keeping!!

33. Men like kindness (imagine that!). But really, it's true. Sometimes new wives tend to allow familiarity to become an excuse for complacency breeding selfishness and thoughtlessness. From my extensive studies, men don't respond very well to those traits; however, give them a dose of kindness and suddenly you're a princess who does everything right! ;)

34. You could complain or you could swallow that complaint. The choice is yours.

35. Not being honest about your feelings is a lie. Period.

36. Dalton is genuinely impressed and happy when I give myself over to my "creative juices." His support for my little creations and writing has been such a blessing!

37. Strep throat can be incredibly costly

38. Sleeping during the night is far better than sleeping in the day. When we were first married, D worked the morning shift (11 pm - 7 am). It was a fun adventure, but we were sure glad when he was able to get a swing shift instead (1 pm - 9 pm). We loved not having to sleep in the daytime!    

39. Keeping house is a lot of fun ... especially after you get into the swing of things

40. A good man will eat a lot of icky meals (including leftovers!)

41. Friendly neighbors are a real blessing

42. Lovemaking is so much better than what you thought it would be as a single person

43. Pursuing a relationship with your in-laws (or in-loves as I like to say!) is super important and super rewarding

44. Pregnancy tests are super expensive

45. And getting a negative reading can be devastating

46. Bacon is a financial treat you should partake in once in a while

47. Praying together every day is a investment for eternity and well worth the time

48. Saying "I'm sorry; do you forgive me?" is one of the greatest phrases of all time and a great healer. Use it often.

49. Contentment is a choice ... even after you have everything you ever wanted (a husband who loves you, a home of your own ...) you'll still have to choose to be content.

50. Being married to you best friend is the best thing that could ever happen. He will hold you when you cry, laugh when you laugh, and bless your every moment.

51. Marriage (and all that comes with it) will affect your hormones and you'll feel a little "out of control" for a while. It's okay and I'm pretty convinced it happens to us all. Give yourself grace, plenty of rest, and good, nutrient rich meals and you'll survive. :)

52. God will never fail to meet His children's needs. I have learned this over and over again this year -- our God is good and loving!

53. Finding an apartment with a good landlord and without any broken windows is a huge blessing

54. Not eating sugar/wheat really does make me feel better

55. A man who points you to Christ, encourages you to look up, and prays for you is worth the world and rare

I really couldn't be any happier than I am right now. Dalton and I are so blessed -- we've learned a lot since we said "I do" last year on March 7th. We've stumbled, bickered and felt lost. But we have grown, bonded, and found hope in God's leading. I know we wouldn't trade what we have for the world.

Happy anniversary, D! May we have 70 more!

Were there any points you could relate with or that surprised you? Feel free to bring up your thoughts!!

With love, coffee, and a one year old marriage!

 

Tuesday Events

“Jo had learned that hearts, like flowers, cannot be rudely handled, but must open naturally…” 

 

Little Women

 

It's one of those beautiful, sunny winter days that beg for you to come out and explore. While the eastern side is being snowed in (cuddle up with some cocoa and Scrabble away safely, dear ones!) my beloved and I are enjoying a day off.

 

I stumbled out of bed, hair awry, and together (its funny the things couples can do together) we made a cup of coffee. After omelets and left-over cornbread soaked in milk, we went off for our weekly grocery shopping trip/date. I say date because shopping with Dalton is a lot of fun.

 

At Aldis, I discovered this yellow primrose for $ .39! What a price for such a beauty! I decided to toss the dying and diseased succulents and planted our new friend in the pretty white pot I bought before we were married. I also gave the last two succulents new homes and moved the trio to the windowsill for fellowship and sunshine -- two things none of us can live without! :)

 

 

 

 

 

While the husband watched a documentary and took a midmorning snooze (he's so cute) I've occupied myself by filling out an "intent to graduate" form, checked on favorite blogs, and enjoyed some relaxing, classical music. Later, we may wander out to the library for Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events and explore the river landing we haven't been to yet.

 

It really is a beautiful day. What is keeping you occupied this fine Tuesday? Whatever it is, I pray that you, dear reader, are filled with beautiful peace and the joy of the Lord.

 

Love and blessings!

What Poo Covered Teacups Means to Me

Sometimes days can be hard.

Like sewage-backing-up-into-the-basement-splattering-the-china-your-mother-gave-you hard.

I don't like those kind of days. In fact, I do everything possible to avoid them. I plan, schedule, and prepare so to avoid disasters. And I'm happy, so happy because most of the time my life is full of easy, happy moments.

So when a sinister root successfully breaks into the sewage pipe promoting all manner of poo to come floating though the grate I tend to get a bit irritated. Of course, my dear husband took the lead and conquered the mess (And, whewie!, does that man know how to clean a basement and look good doing it. ;-)

I later went down to manfully perform final inspection and bleach the appliances down.

But before long I was crying, crouching on the floor, hovering over my now brown-and-slimy china set. Like a small child I wept while emptying a stinky, poo-covered tote. Weeping ... I'm sure the construction workers across the street thought I was a crazy.

I was sad and hurt.

Hurt over something we couldn't predict or prepare for. Frustrated over unpleasant events.
Sorrowful for feeling like we had been let down.

A still, small voice whispered, "Give thanks in all things, rejoice." I tried. I failed. I tried again, yet angry emotions continued to appear. I felt worse because I had not succeeded. I wept harder and still He whispered, "Rejoice."
 
"Okay." And in the midst of poo-sodden teacups, over my bleach-burned hands, despite my disappointments I knew joy and peace. I learned a very important, tangible lesson--joy is always present within the sorrow. Circumstances, events, let-downs, disappointments will very often damper happiness but choosing to thankfulness will produce peace and joy.

So let the poo keep on keeping on ... well, not really. It really is the most horrible thing in the world. But may I continue to press into the grace and joy promised me by the Lord. 

DIY Fourth of July!

Hello, sweet friends!

 

My, it has been too long since I tried my hand at blogging. It's just that I have so many ideas floating around in my mind but am having the hardest time penning them down. :)

 

Last weekend, my dear mom came for a visit. What a blessing it was! It was so sweet enjoying her company, showing her our little home's progress, and spending hours some time in a local antique shop.

 

She also had the great idea of making these adorable Forth of July fabric balls. They were super easy (and affordable) to make. I plan on switching out the fabric pieces according to the season ... how fun is that?

 

All you need is fabric of your choice (we bought three different pieces at 1/2 a yard), scissors, sewing pins, and Styrofoam balls. We simply cut the fabric into 1/2 inch strips and pulled the pieces around the balls, pinning them in place. Add some twine for a special, super cute touch!

 

Thank you, Mom, for the lovely visit ... and for my new dining table attraction! ;-)

 

Off to an essential oils class!

 

With love to you,

Frannie

 

 

 

Summer To-Do's

After a week away from my beloved and our cozy, little home I am ~so~ thankful to be back in my recliner sipping water and munching on homemade goodies. Last week my family and I crowded into two cars and drove cross country twenty-one hours to Tucson, Arizona. Whew! What an adventure. :) We made the grand trek in order to celebrate my younger sister's wedding! Allie and Wade were soon engaged after Dalton and I and it was so special celebrating their union with them.

But now that I'm back home I've begun writing my to-do lists with fervor. After browsing through Angel's Summer Bucket List I've decided to scratch up my own wish list of summer activities.

Lately, I have been feeling lost; before marriage I was busy with two jobs (off and on), school full time, helping at home, and being a Sunday school teacher. Since our wedding day I've released many of those roles and have felt that because I wasn't "busy" I was being lazy or neglectful. Feeling this way has led to many ridiculous rendezvous; take yesterday for example--I spent two hours nervously chewing my finger nails to the bone because I had asked for an application at a crowded, small Thai restaurant which badly needed a cook. As soon as the scrawny, eager waiter requested for me to come back within two hours I knew I was making a mistake. I didn't want to fill my schedule for the sake of filling it; and for heaven's sake! I just quite a five year long job working as a cook and was rather enjoying not spending every moment chopping, dicing, and steaming my hair with boiling pasta water.

So I am going to calm down or as my dear husband says, "Wait. God will bring you something; just wait for it."

(Isn't he so smart?)

So, without further ado, here is my summer bucket list

 

 

Clean/wipe down the Sunroom

 

Start and Complete One Rag Garland

 

Develop and Hang Pictures Throughout the House

 

Make (and Take!) Cookies to Neighbors on both Sides of House

 

Complete and Send Out Thank-you Letters

 

Finish Application for College

 

Begin and Maintain Regular Bible Reading

 

Stick to Weekly/Monthly Cleaning Schedule

 

Visit a Zoo :)

 

Visit (two!) of Jeff City's Many Lakes

 

Take D out for Steak One of These Days :)

 

Mop Basement Floor

 

Create and Make "Emergency Basket"

 

Apply for Substitute Teacher Allowance

 

Finish Bringing Items from Mom and Dad's House ;)

 

 

And I do hope to blog about some of these endeavors; what do you have on your summer to-do list?

 

God bless you!!

Frannie

 

 

 

 



 

Late Nights at the Duncan House

 A happy hello to each of you! I hope this finds you well—rejoicing in the peace and joy of the Lord! The last two days I have enjoyed the sunshine (and rain) with my sweetheart. Him having two nights off gives wonderful freedom to explore our city, catch up on sleep, work on house projects, and simply enjoy spending the day together.

But what exactly goes on when my mister leaves the house for work at 10:30 p.m.? Whatever occurs in the wee hours of morning while I await D’s homecoming? Since Dalton and I are purposing to be on a similar schedule I spend my evenings in all sorts of ways. Let me share some with you. 

Computer Work

                          

Welcome to my office! Here I perform a myriad of tasks ranging from creating/implementing a household budget ( S U P E R  fun!), investigate options for insurance, internet and the likes, search for husband birthday ideas (it’s coming up and you know … I’ve never had a husband to throw parties for. It’s kind of a new thing ;), create grocery lists, to-do lists, and random blog post lists.

Oh, I also spend a lot of time here and here and here. Ooops.

 Craigslist-ing

Although searching Craigslist is considered computer related this pastime deserves its own paragraph. Hours of searching/replying/crying over unnoticed bids occurr in my solitude. However, I am thankful that these pictures demonstrate the results of watching over the furniture section like a buzzard over road kill. We were blessed to find a sofa and love seat for $130 and the cutest bench table for $100. Both in good condition!

                                      

Cooking and Cleanting

(a shout out to Madea)

The house is abuzz with all sorts of projects once eleven o’clock strikes. Cabinets come off hinges and are painted, pantries wiped out, floors mopped, bathrooms sanitized, and occasionally meals get prepared for. This yummy dish can be found here and was filled with turkey and cheese (blue for him, cheddar for her). J

                                      

 Quiet Time

The quiet moments of evening prove lovely for listening to music, reading, and writing. My current favorites include re-playing "Attaboy," reading God's words in Psalms and Proverbs as well as re-reading my copy of Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl.

Overall, the favorite pursuits of my current third shift is working with the budget and taking time to read. I know these slow yet busy days will not always last so I want to be as patient, thankful, and productive with them as possible.

Have any of you tried to maintain a weird schedule? I’d love to hear about it!

Your nightowl of a friend,

Frannie

This Thing Called Marriage

:: Cinnamon water, black coffee, and matching plates of omelets and pita bread for brunch. A happy hello from the Duncans! ::

Hello dear friends!

Wow … can you believe that I am actually, truly, for the rest of my life, married?

Sometimes I myself forget. J

But before I get lost in some confusing blog post let me tell you something ...

Marriage is wonderful!

I love waking up next to my best friend every day. Talking budget with him. Learning how to communicate and share my/our feelings better. Discussing how our parents are doing. Encouraging him. Showing him what I’ve been doing while he is away at work. Strolling through town with him. Greeting him at the door. It really has been a blast—and something I pray lasts for many more years to come.

There have been many (hilarious, conflicting, amazing) adjustments to make since I became Mrs. Duncan two weeks ago. Let me list them:

1) It is okay that I’m sleeping with … gulp … a man.

            I know, I know. “Get with the program, Frannie. You’re married so of course you’ll sleep with a man.” ;-) But really. This has been an adjustment and one I am pondering and plan to write more on in the future. J

2) WHO AM I?

            Marriage has turned my world around and for the better. But there are some moments when I stop and ponder the big questions in life. Who am I now that I’m married? What am I supposed to do with myself? Who do I answer to?

            Of course I know the answers to these questions. I’m still Frannie. Yet, marriage has altered my course of life drastically. You see, I think I was prepared for the idea of marriage and not the reality. I have spent many years happily single, enjoying the freedom singleness gives, and knowing exactly who (and how) I wanted to please. The day after our wedding I sat in bed and asked my beloved husband the silliest of questions, “Who am I now, Dalton? What do I do with myself?” Thankfully, my tenderhearted, gentle man didn’t laugh at my quandary and the huge wave of reality that washed over me. Instead, he gave me encouragement to start slow and see where God takes me in this new adventure of wifehood.

            Thankfully, God is still the same God now that I’m married as He was when I was single; He knew I would go through an unforeseen identity crisis, He foresaw that I would wrestle with what I was to do next, He understood that my rule-loving, schedule-abiding heart would need reminders of His faithfulness. Most importantly, He understood my heart way before I did.

3) The wait-till-two-flush-rule

            J It isn’t a rule but I find it humorous how my tidy, thrifty stud of a husband likes to save money by waiting till the second potty run to flush the toilet.

4) Signing my name as Frannie Duncan

            Having now become an “official adult,” I’ve thrown myself into all sorts of adult-like interests (i.e. researching renters insurance, internet company quotes, homemade cleaners, Craigslist furniture searches, calling stale bank ladies who seem to hate answering the phone …). Being grownup is really quite entertaining. And signing all the documents and email signups with my new last name has proven to be a hassle some days.

            p.s. I’m being sarcastic when I say that being married now equals adulthood. I’ve always felt that that was how the world viewed me but I can honestly say that marriage does not “grow you up” or make one feel validated. It is wonderful and lovely but it is not what makes a girl a woman or a boy a man. That’s what character and maturity is for.

5) Living with neighbors … for better or for worse

            Most of my life has been lived in rural, wooded areas with several acres in between homesteads. When describing his ideal place to live my dad puts it this way, “I need to be able to pee off my own porch without worrying about people … or else I just won’t worry about them.” J

Moving to Jefferson City with Dalton has been one of the most thrilling adventures yet. I adore this city. I love seeing the neat, brick homes lining the street and watching families sit on their porches after work. I like living within hearing distance of the train and church bells. And I thoroughly enjoy being able to walk downtown passing historical sites all the way to the capital. Dalton and I were especially excited when the empty apartment above our little home began to buzz when a new couple moved in. But after being jolted out of bed by the sound of a well-equipped boom box and later overhearing their relationship problems through the course of a yelling match I’ve been laughing over how little I now about living right next to neighbors. Hopefully, I’ll be making cookies for the new pair and, who knows, maybe our two families will stay in touch for the rest of our lives. J

            Needless to say, marriage has brought so many joys and blessings my way. I am so thankful God saw it fit to bring D and me together … and I am so glad I get to share this new adventure in life with you!

            With lots of love!

                        Frannie

The Blossoming Bungalow

Dalton and I really enjoy our special “day dates” we try to make time for; day dates due to the long distance between us. Last Saturday was one of those special days. My birthday had passed earlier in the month and for a birthday present, D had graciously laid down his life (hehehe) and his hard earned money in exchange for two l-o-n-g hours of shopping at Hobby Lobby. He wanted me to pick out whatever I’d like for the house—I was so excited. J

 

Unfortunately, I panicked! I guess being a penny-pincher has taken its toll on me; I didn’t know how to spend the money! Eventually, we left with two bags and a frame for the wall. J

Afterwards, we drove around the community--I am taken with Jefferson City’s historical sights and feel. We enjoyed a yummy buffet at one of the local Chinese restaurants and later browsed other small shops. Lots and lots of fun! J

Before we began the trip for me to be dropped off, I tried to take a few more (better) pictures of the dear place I will one day call home. It is looking quite lovely—Dalton’s hard work is making each room brighter and cheerier! I will begin bringing more and more of my things as our wedding day approaches.

 

The front view ... borrowed from Google Maps

 

Living room with the lonely, brown recliner

 

 

From the living room turning into the dining area. You are able to see the bathroom/bedroom nook closest with the kitchen/sunroom/basement entry farther to the left

Dining room

 

Bathroom (we are doing a natural/woodsy theme for the majority of the house)

D's bedroom

The kitchen which opens to the basement (on the right, door unseen) and sunroom (through the door on the end). We are decorating the kitchen in a herb/garden theme.

Sink view

 

Oven view

:)