This Thing Called Marriage

:: Cinnamon water, black coffee, and matching plates of omelets and pita bread for brunch. A happy hello from the Duncans! ::

Hello dear friends!

Wow … can you believe that I am actually, truly, for the rest of my life, married?

Sometimes I myself forget. J

But before I get lost in some confusing blog post let me tell you something ...

Marriage is wonderful!

I love waking up next to my best friend every day. Talking budget with him. Learning how to communicate and share my/our feelings better. Discussing how our parents are doing. Encouraging him. Showing him what I’ve been doing while he is away at work. Strolling through town with him. Greeting him at the door. It really has been a blast—and something I pray lasts for many more years to come.

There have been many (hilarious, conflicting, amazing) adjustments to make since I became Mrs. Duncan two weeks ago. Let me list them:

1) It is okay that I’m sleeping with … gulp … a man.

            I know, I know. “Get with the program, Frannie. You’re married so of course you’ll sleep with a man.” ;-) But really. This has been an adjustment and one I am pondering and plan to write more on in the future. J

2) WHO AM I?

            Marriage has turned my world around and for the better. But there are some moments when I stop and ponder the big questions in life. Who am I now that I’m married? What am I supposed to do with myself? Who do I answer to?

            Of course I know the answers to these questions. I’m still Frannie. Yet, marriage has altered my course of life drastically. You see, I think I was prepared for the idea of marriage and not the reality. I have spent many years happily single, enjoying the freedom singleness gives, and knowing exactly who (and how) I wanted to please. The day after our wedding I sat in bed and asked my beloved husband the silliest of questions, “Who am I now, Dalton? What do I do with myself?” Thankfully, my tenderhearted, gentle man didn’t laugh at my quandary and the huge wave of reality that washed over me. Instead, he gave me encouragement to start slow and see where God takes me in this new adventure of wifehood.

            Thankfully, God is still the same God now that I’m married as He was when I was single; He knew I would go through an unforeseen identity crisis, He foresaw that I would wrestle with what I was to do next, He understood that my rule-loving, schedule-abiding heart would need reminders of His faithfulness. Most importantly, He understood my heart way before I did.

3) The wait-till-two-flush-rule

            J It isn’t a rule but I find it humorous how my tidy, thrifty stud of a husband likes to save money by waiting till the second potty run to flush the toilet.

4) Signing my name as Frannie Duncan

            Having now become an “official adult,” I’ve thrown myself into all sorts of adult-like interests (i.e. researching renters insurance, internet company quotes, homemade cleaners, Craigslist furniture searches, calling stale bank ladies who seem to hate answering the phone …). Being grownup is really quite entertaining. And signing all the documents and email signups with my new last name has proven to be a hassle some days.

            p.s. I’m being sarcastic when I say that being married now equals adulthood. I’ve always felt that that was how the world viewed me but I can honestly say that marriage does not “grow you up” or make one feel validated. It is wonderful and lovely but it is not what makes a girl a woman or a boy a man. That’s what character and maturity is for.

5) Living with neighbors … for better or for worse

            Most of my life has been lived in rural, wooded areas with several acres in between homesteads. When describing his ideal place to live my dad puts it this way, “I need to be able to pee off my own porch without worrying about people … or else I just won’t worry about them.” J

Moving to Jefferson City with Dalton has been one of the most thrilling adventures yet. I adore this city. I love seeing the neat, brick homes lining the street and watching families sit on their porches after work. I like living within hearing distance of the train and church bells. And I thoroughly enjoy being able to walk downtown passing historical sites all the way to the capital. Dalton and I were especially excited when the empty apartment above our little home began to buzz when a new couple moved in. But after being jolted out of bed by the sound of a well-equipped boom box and later overhearing their relationship problems through the course of a yelling match I’ve been laughing over how little I now about living right next to neighbors. Hopefully, I’ll be making cookies for the new pair and, who knows, maybe our two families will stay in touch for the rest of our lives. J

            Needless to say, marriage has brought so many joys and blessings my way. I am so thankful God saw it fit to bring D and me together … and I am so glad I get to share this new adventure in life with you!

            With lots of love!

                        Frannie