Saturday, March 7, 2015

55 Things I've Learned After Being Married for One Year

I can't believe it. I can't believe that Dalton and I have been married for exactly one year today. A lot of time has passed since that lovely March day; a lot of love, memories and lessons have occurred within our glorious year. Overall, I would say that our first year has been pretty easy; of course, we've had our arguments and our disappointments but theses things have only driven us closer.

Below are fifty-five things I have learned during this first year. Some are fun and silly while others are more serious; each have helped make me into the woman I am today. I look forward to seeing who I will be next year and the year after that. God bless each of you as you read this -- may it inspire, humor and bless you in your own adventures!

1. Marriage, in God's will, is one of His greatest, most kind, gifts to mankind

2. Breakfast doesn't make itself

3. But real men make breakfast (thank you, Dalton! xoxoxo!)

4. Marriage really does take a lot of work

5. And patience

6. And grace

7. Grocery shopping with Dalton is a real treat (I had always imagined I'd shop alone as my dad never went with us. :)

8. You really can live (well!) on one income

9. When buying furniture it is far better to wait for the right style, price and time than jumping into a bargain you'll regret later

10. Babies aren't just made

11. But contentment in the waiting will make you (and your spouse) grow closer to each other and the Lord

12. Homesickness is inevitable

13. And it is okay

14. But when homesickness sweeps over you, don't run home. Run to your beloved and share your heart. You'll grow through it.

15. Arguments will happen (even when you're the perfect couple!)

16. But most of the arguments will be based on miscommunication

17. Your spouse cannot read your mind and he shouldn't have to

18. Going on a date can be as simple as walking through the mall together ... the time together is oh, so priceless!

19. Husbands love to have their jokes laughed at ... but they want you to be real! ;)

20. Dalton cannot stand popping knuckles ... if I pop them while he sleeps he hears it and gives a little grunt of disapproval :D

21. Being your mate's biggest fan and advocate is *so* important. Criticizing him or allowing others to criticize him is a big no-no and a trust breaker. I learned this the hard way. Always, be on your mate's team ... you'll never regret having their trust!

22. Being thrifty can be really fun

23. But sometimes going cheap is not worth it (like buying cheap toilet paper which rips ... du du duuuuuum!)

24. The first few months of marriage will probably be a little tight in the budget ... but don't fret! In about 3 months you'll have the budget set, utilities scheduled, and furnishings furnished and you can begin to relax.

25. Husbands want to know if they're "getting fat " sometimes ... and they want an honest answer

26. Celebrating "month-a-versaries" is really fun!!

27. Riding the bus is actually ... really easy

28. Decorations can be bought little by little each year. Our Christmas tree was given to us and our ornaments were made from a package of potpourri ... but it was truly beautiful and definitely "us." I've found it far more satisfying to stay within budget and buy a little to set up home then go into debt (or over budget).

29. But remember, the budget isn't meant to be a hateful, slave master constantly whipping your backs. If you find that you can agree that the purchase is necessary then go for it! :)

30. Tubs need to be scrubbed every few months ... otherwise they get this gross ring around the edge and your sister will have to scrub it when she comes to visit they get gross.

31. Your Momma is really, really going to miss you (and you her). Bless her, call her, text her, send letter to her ... do all that you can to make this transition easier for the dear woman who has loved you all your life. I wish I had done more of this in the beginning!! <3 p="">
32. A man who makes you coffee is a man worth keeping!!

33. Men like kindness (imagine that!). But really, it's true. Sometimes new wives tend to allow familiarity to become an excuse for complacency breeding selfishness and thoughtlessness. From my extensive studies, men don't respond very well to those traits; however, give them a dose of kindness and suddenly you're a princess who does everything right! ;)

34. You could complain or you could swallow that complaint. The choice is yours.

35. Not being honest about your feelings is a lie. Period.

36. Dalton is genuinely impressed and happy when I give myself over to my "creative juices." His support for my little creations and writing has been such a blessing!

37. Strep throat can be incredibly costly

38. Sleeping during the night is far better than sleeping in the day. When we were first married, D worked the morning shift (11 pm - 7 am). It was a fun adventure, but we were sure glad when he was able to get a swing shift instead (1 pm - 9 pm). We loved not having to sleep in the daytime!    

39. Keeping house is a lot of fun ... especially after you get into the swing of things

40. A good man will eat a lot of icky meals (including leftovers!)

41. Friendly neighbors are a real blessing

42. Lovemaking is so much better than what you thought it would be as a single person

43. Pursuing a relationship with your in-laws (or in-loves as I like to say!) is super important and super rewarding

44. Pregnancy tests are super expensive

45. And getting a negative reading can be devastating

46. Bacon is a financial treat you should partake in once in a while

47. Praying together every day is a investment for eternity and well worth the time

48. Saying "I'm sorry; do you forgive me?" is one of the greatest phrases of all time and a great healer. Use it often.

49. Contentment is a choice ... even after you have everything you ever wanted (a husband who loves you, a home of your own ...) you'll still have to choose to be content.

50. Being married to you best friend is the best thing that could ever happen. He will hold you when you cry, laugh when you laugh, and bless your every moment.

51. Marriage (and all that comes with it) will affect your hormones and you'll feel a little "out of control" for a while. It's okay and I'm pretty convinced it happens to us all. Give yourself grace, plenty of rest, and good, nutrient rich meals and you'll survive. :)

52. God will never fail to meet His children's needs. I have learned this over and over again this year -- our God is good and loving!

53. Finding an apartment with a good landlord and without any broken windows is a huge blessing

54. Not eating sugar/wheat really does make me feel better

55. A man who points you to Christ, encourages you to look up, and prays for you is worth the world and rare

I really couldn't be any happier than I am right now. Dalton and I are so blessed -- we've learned a lot since we said "I do" last year on March 7th. We've stumbled, bickered and felt lost. But we have grown, bonded, and found hope in God's leading. I know we wouldn't trade what we have for the world.

Happy anniversary, D! May we have 70 more!

Were there any points you could relate with or that surprised you? Feel free to bring up your thoughts!!

With love, coffee, and a one year old marriage!
 

18 comments:

  1. I love reading your blog:O) Happy 1st Anniversary!!!! I just wanted to say that there are many seasons in a "Marriage". But,even though we all have ups and downs as we go..Marriage still gets sweeter and sweeter as the years go by!!!!!:) Growing old together is a lovely experience,God has so gracious given to us who are married:)!!!!!! God bless you and your Husband,Frannie!!!!:) Nancy from IOWA!

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    1. Oh, hello, Miss Nancy!!

      I love seeing your cheery, sweet comments. Thank you for your love and friendship! I agree ... we are very blessed and growing old together is indeed a gift!

      I appreciate you!

      Blessings and love,
      Frannie

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  2. What a lovely list, Frannie. You seem to have covered everything! After 35 years of marriage I am still learning!

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    1. Hello, Miss Barbara!

      What a lovely thing to be married thirty-five years ... I'm sure there is so much you could teach me! Ah, to be in your garden and hear your stories would be so sweet.

      You are a blessing to us!

      Love!

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  3. Happy Anniversary!!!!! :D what a blessing! Such a wonderful list you shared - thank you!!
    Praying you and your husband have the happiest of days... and many more anniversaries to come :)

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    1. Eeee! Thank you, Carolann! Thank you for your kindness and blessings. It's day 368 of being married and were looking forward to all the rest given to us!!

      You are a blessing and I appreciate you happy comments!

      Love!

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  4. Happy Anniversary, you two love birds! It is a great list, thanks for sharing your heart with us. xoxo

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    1. Hello and thank you, Miss Heather! Hehehe ... we are love birds!

      I always appreciate it when you stop by -- many blessings and love sent to you and your family!

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  5. Happy Anniversary, Frannie and Dalton!!! I'm so happy for you - and so happy that, Lord willing, this wonderful year has been just the beginning of your life together! May the Lord bless you both on this special day, and continue to water the blooming tree of your love with blessings to share, hardships to weather together, people to serve, and new truths about Himself to discover!

    I love you, Frannie!! Extra-special hugs from me on your special day!

    Sending flowers and spring breezes,
    Vicki

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    1. Ah, Vickie!! I've received your spring breezes and flowers ... thank you, dear soul!

      I so appreciate your love and kindness ... I look forward to the day I can wish you a happy anniversary!! What joy that will be!!

      You are sweet and I love you!

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  6. aww congratulations! love this posts and some of these are such a reality! :) love your spirit and honesty to share. Here's to many more for you!

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    1. Greetings, Charis! I can't tell you how nice it is to have someone who can relate!! It's fabulous! Thank you for your well wishes and love!! I appreciate you!

      Love and blessings to you and your man!

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  7. Happy anniversary! I love your blog! I've been following for a while but have never commented... Anyways I wanted to share some helpful advice! You can get pregnancy test at the dollar store I'm not sure if ya'll have these stores Where you live but they are everywhere here in Texas and you only pay a dollar for one test pretty awesome! hope you can find a store in your area.

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    1. Oh, hello, dear Meg! I am so glad you've been stopping by and now left a comment. That is *always* such happy news!

      Thank you for your advice! We do have Dollar Stores (I love to browse through them!) I had never thought of looking there for the tests! :)

      Blessings to you and I look forward to getting to know you better!!

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  8. Awww... Happy Anniversary to you both! May the LORD continue to draw you closer together! :D

    Your entire list is right on point. Just about all of these resonate with me. Thanks for sharing, sweet friend! :D

    Love and blessings!
    Angel

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    1. Thank you, Angel, for your love and blessings!! That is our constant prayer, "that we would grow closer together." And I have seen God answer that in His amazing way over and over.

      God bless you, dear. I hope you're enjoying some springtime weather in your area!!

      Love!!

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  9. There is so much truth in this! As you know, I'm not married myself, but I've been learning a lot of the same relationship lessons! I really appreciate how real you are about the ups and downs of first-year marriage in this post. I wish more people would write about it, because I'm really curious to know fact from fantasy about this stage!! :)

    P.S. Thanks for commenting on my blog, Frannie! I appreciated your thoughts!!

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    1. Hahaha, oh, I understand and agree! I am still curious about marriage -- even while I live it. And thank you. I really do want to be as authentic and real about all the beauties, joys and challenges of life (and marriage).

      And I can't tell you how excited it is o have you comment -- I appreciate your writing and enjoy learning from you!

      Blessings to you!

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Hey there, darling!

I'd love to hear your thoughts -- leave a comment below and I'll do my best to give you a reply. There is nothing sweeter then hearing from my readers!

Love, blessings and a steaming cup of coffee,

Frannie Anne

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