Monday, April 27, 2015

How to Get Your Husband To Eat His Vegetables + Other Fables


I'm a lot of things to my husband -- a friend, comrade, keeper, lover, helpmate, playmate, encourager. 

But I'm not his mother.

I'm a first-born, mother-hen, protector personality -- the kind of woman who will ask you if your feeling alright 20 times in a minute, iron your shirt, make your favorite cookies, ask you if the temperature of the room is suitable and hover over you ensuring that your water is filled and your heart content.

I've been told it's stifling. 

I am not my husband's mother -- somehow he managed to live without someone reminding him to brush his teeth, eat his vegetables and put his shoes away before I came into his life. (He keeps assuring me that he can still do those things without oversight.) Somehow he figured out how to apply for jobs, adjust the thermostat and greet people without my tutelage ... and to be honest, I was kind of shocked.

I've  always had someone to remind how to behave; I've always had some amount of control and involvement with those younger then me. So, when my husband ordered me to stop mothering him reminded me that he was perfectly capable, I was confused, hurt and put out. I had only meant to be a helpmeet. Didn't he prefer a helpful wife over a lazy one?

I think I puffed and huffed and declared that he couldn't change me; that he should be thankful for such a helpful, sweet, willing wife.

(Hahaha, I hope Debi Pearl doesn't come after me with a spanking stick and a copy of Created to Be His Helpmeet for that statement ... actually, I do. Mine is wearing out.)

There really isn't a conclusion to this silly post other then to say that I am still learning.

I am learning to be the kind of woman my husband wants and not the kind of woman I thinks he needs. I'm finding he has no problem asking for aid when he needs it and that I need not hover over him. I'm discovering freedom in not having to be involved in his every movement and I am enjoying not being in control. It's fun watching him be himself without me critiquing and advising his every decision. Above all, I am learning to respect my husband enough to trust him. He is capable, he is wise and he is able.

Of course, I do remind him to eat his salad greens because that's simply good fun and it gets us laughing. ;]

Question: Are you a mother-hen? Or, are you one who despises mothering? Whoever you are leave a comment ... I love learning more from you!!

With lots of love, blessings and sunshine,

7 comments:

  1. I've spent my life going 'Cluck cluck'!!

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    1. Oh, Miss Barbara! How funny!!

      Cluck, cluck!! ;)

      Delete
  2. Lol at the Debi Pearl reference!! ;) "I am learning to be the kind of woman my husband wants and not the kind of woman I thinks he needs." - I love this. This reminded me to stop and ask myself "am I doing this for myself, or for him?" Like you said, I need to learn to be the kind of wife my husband wants/needs... Thank you for getting so personal with your readers :)

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    1. Oooo! Carolann, I love your thought about "am I doing this for myself or him." That is a great question for us to ask ourselves. I definitely feel convicted by that!

      :D

      Love to you, sweet lady!

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  3. I second Carolann's lol at the Debi Pearl reference. :D I'm typically the mother hen, more bossy than I should be with others, but not so much with my hubby I've found. Which just drives my sister crazy, since she said I would be just as bossy with him as I was with her. I'm kind of surprised at it myself, and the fact Justin wants me to get a bit bossy and show my feelings sometimes. Like you said, it's all about learning to be the kind of wife your hubby needs.

    Thank you for your authenticness!

    Many blessing to you, my friend!
    Angel

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    1. Oh, Angel, you're so cute!!

      It's interesting that you've held back your cluckiness with your husband and that he would like you to be more outspoken. I can totally relate; I tend to be a little too motherly but I also tend to keep my opinion to myself when I really should share. One day we will learn! :D

      Lots of blessings to you!

      Delete

Hey there, darling!

I'd love to hear your thoughts -- leave a comment below and I'll do my best to give you a reply. There is nothing sweeter then hearing from my readers!

Love, blessings and a steaming cup of coffee,

Frannie Anne

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