Monday, April 13, 2015

Joy in the Waiting // Baby Love Part 3

 
It's a snowy, gray day in March. A day made for inside activities, cocoa and good conversation.
 
But there's something missing.
 
Or rather, someone.

Sweet reader, you've walked through my inner thoughts and learned about my love-hate relationship with children (hehehe .... that sounds so intense) and then discovered the beautiful (in progress) work God has done in my heart -- I no longer fear having babies and instead find a growing desire for them. To finish our series I want to write a little on what happens when you want a baby but it seems to not happen.
 
That someone missing is a little squirming bundle, a happy toddler making messes, cluttering the apartment with wipes and toys and a hundred pacifiers. A child of our own.  
 
From my perspective waiting on anything is hard. We want to grow up, marry, keep our own homes, become missionaries, have babies ... contentment is a hard thing especially when we are waiting for something good. We cannot imagine that there could be joy in the waiting.
 
All my life I have struggled with anger, frustration, sorrow and discontent when it seemed God was saying, "Not yet, dear one. Wait on my timing. And in the mean time, find joy."
 
It was and has been very difficult.
 
But, praise God, it is possible.

Over the course of my twenty-five year long lifetime I've unearthed a few ways to practice contentment; simple steps to finding joy in the waiting:

1. Realize that it is okay (and normal) to be struggling.
 
This. Is. Huge.
 
The first step to contentment, I've found, is realizing that it is okay to hurt, want and ache. If it is a good thing (marriage, children, using your likes and talents to save the world ;) then it's okay to want it. You are not bad for desiring a good thing. After you've realized that it is okay to struggle remember that ...
 
2. God is enough in the meantime.
 
(This is also huge ;)
 
When we forget that our relationship with Jesus is more then enough we become shipwrecked on an island of self pity, anger, jealousy and a nonstop struggle to get what we want.
 
I've been there. Countless times. And, friend, it is no picnic being stuck in such a terrible place.
 
If you find yourself forgetting that God is more then enough take a step back. Practice thankfulness. Thank God for your life, the sun outside, the clothes on your back. Bless you parents. Bless your spouse. Bless anyone and everyone. Being thankful is the key to remembering that God is more then enough. And when you've remembered that you really can be happy without getting what you want ...
 
3. Pray and prepare.  
 
Ask God for your heart's desire; ask in faith and with courage. The Bible tells us to do this!
 
And, while you pray, prepare.
 
Do you want to be married? Discover what makes an excellent wife and study that. Do you want to be a mother? Learn about childbirth, medicine and observe other awesome moms. Do you want to go to college or step out on the mission field? Prepare yourself by serving in your local area; study, learn, grow. Don't fool yourself into wasting the time God has given you; if He has given it then it is for your good.
 
Once you have remembered that it is okay to hurt, that Jesus is more then enough, and to pray and prepare you will discover joy in the waiting.
 
It isn't easy (and does not always feel good) but choosing contentment over frustration will prove to be a blessing every time.
 
 
Question: What have you been waiting for? Have you discovered any beautiful blessings while you wait?
 
With lots of love, blessings and snowflakes!

7 comments:

  1. Dear Frannie,

    I love order and having things tidy ...clutter makes it hard to think! However, I am surprised how little I mind all the extra stuff that comes with having babies. Your children's delight becomes a source of joy and scattered toys become a symbol of contentment. ( I am teaching Emma to pick up and help clean)

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    1. Dearest Kristin,

      Good encouragement! I love how you have changed and grown into the woman your sweet girlies need. And I love the encouragement you share with me! Bless you for sharing the joy and contentment you have gleaned!

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  2. Ooo, this was super helpful to me!! Thank you so much for this post!

    As you know painfully well, I have not been very good at being joyful while I wait for my (maybe) husband ... I'm afraid I'm more of a Jo, telling myself that I don't need to get married, just so I don't feel so bad about being single. :-/ However, unproductive coping methods aside, I have definitely found blessings in putting marriage on the back burner for now. For one thing, I've had the time and mental energy to focus on college, so I'm on track to do really well in my career. For another, having passed the early-twenties marriage-fever stage, I'm a little more level-headed in my evaluations of men than I would have been four or five years ago. And as I turn into the motherly old spinster of my friend circle, I'm learning a lot of lessons about people, servanthood, and family that will make me a much better wife and mother if that day ever comes for me.

    Thanks for reminding me to look on the bright side!! :-) I don't know what I'd do without you, dear friend! I will be praying, both that you continue in God's peace and joy while you enjoy this time alone with D, and also that God would see fit to bring some little blessings into your home as quickly as His will allows. ;-)

    Hugs to you, my dear!!!
    ~ Vicki

    P.S. Thank you also for stopping by my post the other day - I'm sorry I'm so bad at responding to comments!! It was very comforting to hear that you have some of the same travel experiences as I do! :-)

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    1. Ah, Vickie!! Such a good friend you are!

      I am *so* glad this was a blessing to you and I am even happier to hear you are taking advantage of the grace God has been pouring in your life. It delights me to know you have been able to "set aside" marriage for what is in front of you now and that you are enjoying life because of it! That is *so, so, so* important and something I am still learning to do. :)

      Anyways, it makes me so happy to hear that.

      And I am so grateful for your friendship and your prayers. :) You're a dearheart.

      With lots of love to you!

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  3. As always, a wonderful post Frannie! I treasure you and your words. :)

    Contentment and patience has never come easily for me either. Ain't nobody got time for that, or so I think... But developing patience, and joy in waiting is what GOD desires of us. It draws us closer to HIS side, and that should be our number 1 goal in life. Though not easy, with HIM all things are possible. :)

    Waiting to see if GOD will allow me to become a mother has been tough. I believe the LORD is once again teaching me to let go, and let HIM take over. Is HE truly enough for me right now? I thought I came to that point, and then while watching "Maleficent", they showed baby Aurora, and I burst into tears... (trying to blame that one on hormones, but yeah...)

    There have been blessings in the waiting. Like how my intense research into a fertility diet, has led to a new awareness of how important nutrition is, pregnant or not. A fire has been ignited to eat more of a "traditional" diet full of good fats and loads of protein. I get excited over that pretty easily now, and want to share what I have learned with others. :D

    I pray the LORD does send blessings your way, as you prepare for the possible journey of motherhood. May he bless you and your husband greatly! :)

    Hugs and blessings!
    Angel

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    1. Angel, I am so glad we're friends!

      Hahaha, "Ain't nobody got time for that" is *such* a relatable thought. :D

      And I agree, with HIM all things are possible and what a delight to know that HE is constantly working the impossible in us whenever we are willing to say yes to HIM. Our LORD is so good!!

      And a hearty amen to the blessings waiting produces! I too have been spending a lot of time learning about proper nutrition/natural health ... it's terrible to admit but I probably would never have taken the time to learn if I had gotten pregnant easily! So I totally agree ... GOD gives us good things when we open our eyes and hands to HIM.

      Hmmm ... I'm wondering if there is a possible Nutritional Coach or Personal Fitness Trainer certification in your future? My hubby has gotten his P.F.T. certification and I'm trying to convince him to use it (and his love for health/fitness). I wonder if you might have a similar gift? :)

      Love to you!

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    2. May I involve myself in this conversation and say that I think Angel would make a great fitness / nutrition coach? Angel, I know how important it is to you to be based from home, and I was thinking that, if you got your cerification(s), you could even make your own YouTube channel with lessons, technique demonstrations, cooking / nutrition tutorials, book reviews, etc. With some thought, I think you could make a channel like that into a money-maker as well. Sorry to intrude on your conversation, but Frannie, I think you're onto a great idea!!!

      Love to you both!
      Vicki

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Hey there, darling!

I'd love to hear your thoughts -- leave a comment below and I'll do my best to give you a reply. There is nothing sweeter then hearing from my readers!

Love, blessings and a steaming cup of coffee,

Frannie Anne

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