Friday, May 1, 2015

When Friendship is Hard + Introductions Harder // Coffee Series

Coffee with friends requires a few things.
First, coffee. (And I've got some yummy hazelnut brew in the pantry and almond milk if your game ;)
Second, some place to rest your rump and sit face-to-face in heartfelt conversation.
Finally, it requires friends. You know, those people who manage to hop into their cars, set life aside and take the time to really hear what you're trying to say.
But if you're anything like me (a darling homebody who has a thing for Netflix, oven-baked pizza, a handsome husband and Dutch Blitz) then you might hate the process of making friends .
Because it is a process.
First, you must suffer through the introductions.
"Hi, I'm Frannie. What do I do? Well, I'm a stay-at-home wife who washes dishes and vacuums for happiness, substitutes occasionally and blogs; nerdy, right? Oh, what else do I like to do ? Well ... have you ever heard of Pinterest?"
I hate introductions.
Hopefully, you'll be bewildered (and blessed) by that precious person who manages to find you interesting and you'll get a text or Facebook message asking you to meet for coffee.
You say yes because you really do like this gal and can't wait to be friends but then immediately regret your decision because you'll spend every moment beforehand stressing out. You'll change your outfit at least four times, drive your husband nuts in the process and arrive early but sit in your car because you don't want to appear too eager for friendship.
Of course the next step is the weird dance of the do I hug this person or shake hands or awkwardly wave ... I'll settle for a wave ... oh, wait, she just went in for the hug ... eh. Naturally, you're sweating profusely and you haven't even ordered your coffee yet.
Darlings, making friends is a process and, for you precious introverts, I know it can be a difficult one.  
But friendship, forged over time, laughter and cups of coffee, is worth every ounce of gold in King Midas' palace. (Did you catch that reference, fangirls?)
I know because there are some lovely women who decided to befriend me. Women who have been there when I was single, lonely, pushing through college exams, preparing for overseas schooling, working in a kitchen, dating, engaged, married, thought I was pregnant, homesick.
Some have cried with me; many have laughed.
And through these forges of love we have grown closer into the image of Christ.
So, darling, this is the spring of making/pursuing/rejoicing in friendships. I know it can be hard but I want to encourage you to be brave + vulnerable.
(in)courage has been sharing a lot on friendship lately and I think you'd love what their saying. My favorite post, Friendship: A Piece of Cake, by Ann Swindell has me smiling and thinking about those special people in my life who could be reminded how amazing they really are.
With lots of love, sunshine and hazelnut coffee,


  1. Ah, yes, friends. So hard to make as we grow ever older - especially if your family moves every year or two with work, as mine does. After a while, you start to wonder, "why bother? We'll be leaving in four months anyway..." And the distance makes it so much more difficult.

    Treasure your friends! And reach out to strangers, too. So many people have so much to give, if only given the opportunity.

    1. Dear anonymous, funny soul,

      You are special and I appreciate your encouragement! Blessings to you as you push through the very real nuisance of it all and love others -- you will be someone who is remembered for caring even when it wasn't convenient. My mom often says, "People don't remember what you say or do but how you made them feel."

      I'm glad you reached out to me!!

      Lots of blessings to you!

  2. I grew up as a very shy girl who found it difficult to relate to others. Now I find that the best way is to ask the other person about themselves and show an interest in them.

    1. Dear Miss Barbara,

      I think that is the best way to do it! :) And people will remember that you took the time to ask about themselves; it will really be a blessing!!

      I know I have appreciated *you* taking the time to get to know me!!

      I love and appreciate you!

  3. Ah, introductions ... hate them ... and the first few weeks afterward that follow. Working outside the home has been so helpful for me in that regard, forcing me to not only introduce myself glibly and sparklingly to clients and so forth, but to find common ground to build and maintain relationships and friendships with coworkers. When I would much rather barricade myself in my cubicle and listen to music and books on tape all day and not talk to anyone. :-)

    I still need practice making "bosom friends," as dear Anne would call them ... I do not enjoy being vulnerable and opening up about myself, even with my family. I need to work on that ...

    I love you, dear friend!! I can't wait to see how the renovations on your lovely blog turn out! :-) Have a wonderful weekend!

    ~ Vicki

    1. Oh, Vickie,

      We have too much in common. I am so *proud of you* for pushing yourself and making relationships!! Way to be wonderful!! :)


      Lots of love and blessings to you!


Hey there, darling!

I'd love to hear your thoughts -- leave a comment below and I'll do my best to give you a reply. There is nothing sweeter then hearing from my readers!

Love, blessings and a steaming cup of coffee,

Frannie Anne

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