A Part of Me Missing

I miss my husband and I'm not ashamed to say it. 

But there was a time when I was ... When I couldn't stand to reveal to the world my need and desire for my one and only (or for anyone to be honest). 

You see, I grew up in a world where independence was looked highly upon ... No need for WWIII to break out just because daddy was away on a business trip. And I am so thankful for that--I'm glad that I learned not to fall to pieces when family members were away from the nest. 

Unfortunately, the independence I learned to value and appreciate created in me a distaste for anything dependent. Which can be a hazardous mixture in marriage. It isn't fair to your other half when you are okay with wanderlusting the globe alone and unattached; and, though it may reassure your traveling mate that you'll be okay when he or she is away, it doesn't speak love to be so nonchalant and capable when they're away. 

Everyone wants to know they are wanted.

Everyone needs to know they are needed. 

It wasn't until a friend told me that it was okay to feel lonely when separated from my beloved. That it was normal to feel like half of me was missing ... since half of me truly was. Freedom broke out in my heart. It's okay to need someone; to not want to leave without your other half; To miss others. 

So here's to missing my husband ... May the interestate grow smaller and smaller in distance and the home lights burn brighter with each passing mile.

How I Manage to Make Chips and Other Things

 

 

Homemaking has been such an adventure for this go-by-the-book, eat-the-same-(wonderful)-meals-over-and-over-again kind of gal ... the kind of woman who doesn't stray too far from the tried and true recipes of old. And so marriage has afforded me the chance to break away and try new things. I mean, when you've already spent your food budget for the week and all you have left is a container full of refried beans, a few remaining pepperonis greasily sticking to their bag, green beans and two handfuls of turkey burger you get to be creative. (And have a lot of fun, too!)

 

Thus, my chip making adventure was born. I was looking for a way to vary our diet while conversely pondering what I should do with the last few flour tortilla shells limply laying in the fridge's crisper. 13 minutes later I was baking at 400 degrees a marvelous creation. "Homemade" tortilla chips are truly amazing. They are super easy to make and taste really good ... we've stopped buying tortilla chips altogether and opt to "make" our own. (Which is a big thing since tortilla chips are a hit around these parts.)

 

Ingredients:

  

   Flour (or whole wheat or corn) tortilla shells

   Oil

    Seasoning ... cumin, salt, garlic salt

 

Process:

 

   Simply slice the tortilla shells into the desired amount

   Arrange the now triangle pieces onto a baking sheet avoiding overlapping

   Drizzle with oil and sprinkle with seasoning

   Bake at 400 for 7 minutes, flip the chips and cook for a remaining 6 minutes

   Dip those yummy creatures into something good! You made your own chips!

 

 

I love recipes like that ... the kind that are personal and are ready to eat and taste really good in dip and cheese. :)

What other bits of fun have I been having of late? Well, I'll let you in on the surprise day I've planned for Mr. Duncan. After the scavenger hunt he put on for me I knew I needed to put something together for him. Tomorrow my beloved man will be walking about hunting for clues while I pack a few bags for a day at the beach! I can't wait for tomorrow to arrive ... my beloved has never been to a beach before ... what a pleasure to take him for the first time!

Well, I'm off to begin supper ... what delicious treats have you been cooking lately? Or what new adventures have you undertaken? I'd love to hear from you!

Love and blessings,
Frannie

Checking In

Ah, me ... how happy I am to be alive and well in the month of August. Rain has been soaking our dry grounds, college beckons me to class, and lessons are being learned. Thank you all for the sweet messages I received after my last post--such encouragement given! I am so glad to count you as my dear friends and sisters in Christ even when distance separates so. :)

This post will be a mirage of items all stuck in a few short lengthy paragraphs. :) First, I want to tell you about the many pleasant things which recently occurred.

 In honor of last month's goal to visit the zoo I must share a few pictures. We so  enjoyed visiting St. Louis' zoo. It is a lovely place full of well-kept grounds, yummy smelling foods and of course many animals. We arrived at eight o'clock in the morning and had a blast visiting the different areas. My favorite animals of the day? The fluffy chickens, hippos, the big cats, and the grizzly bear. D loved seeing the akapi best. :) It was extra special to have been joined by my mother-in-love, sister-in-love, and niece. So fun!

a meerkat or two

a naked mole rat // these are the funniest creatures

hello, from the Duncans!

a red panda sneaking away

 

 

The following days have been just as pleasant. Last month, we made the decision to begin a non-rushed hunt for a new home to rent. I spend a lot of time looking for houses, touring them, and then informing the hopeful landlords that it isn't what we're looking for but I hope someone bites soon. :) We both liked this apartment though ... a third story, well preserved home from the early 1900's. What's not to love? even though this home isn't for us I hope it will find a happy tenant soon!  

 

Last Thursday was our 5th month anniversary! :) I really have fun celebrating these little milestones ... next month we will be married half a year. Time really does fly by when you're having fun!

 

For the special day, my beloved planned a very sweet surprise for me. Early in the day, before getting ready for work, Dalton left the house saying he needed to run some errands. (Which is very odd since we tend to run to town together ... but D can sometimes be unpredictable in the best of ways so I've learned to have fun with it.)

 

After coming home D announced that he had carefully planned a scavenger hunt for me throughout Jefferson City and that after finding all the clues I would get a surprise! :) Of course I was flabbergasted ... how does this man do it?! With a kiss on the lips, a pat on my backside, and a happy grin he urged me to begin the hunt while he prepared and left for work.

 

 

 It was so much fun scavenging the city. My first clue led me to the local library where I found the next set of instructions under a statue of a large basset hound in the children's section.  From there I walked on toward the river where an imitation Liberty Bell hangs and where the next clue was hiding. Then I walked on to our favorite pizza place, Arris Pizza, and was shocked to find Dalton's truck parked ... but the man himself was gone! I didn't know what to think so I assumed one of his coworkers had picked him up and gone on into work. So, as the clue instructed, I drove the truck to a local movie and book store where I found the last clue enclosed in a movie case. :) The final paper told me to drive to Central Dairy, a delicious ice cream shop, where I was to piece together the clues. The answer: Look In The Glovebox. I looked and found a leave slip and right then my Prince came walking up to the truck! The dear man had secretly taken the day off! It was a lovely day and one I will always remember ... I'm so grateful for my fun, thoughtful, creative husband!

 

 

What else have I been up to? Well, I have been enjoying this series:

 

:)

 

And I have been having a blast creating invitations for my sister and my sister-in-love's baby showers ... but I can't show you that without giving away some surprise details. ;)

 

Do tell me how you are doing ... what is going on in your lives? I always love hearing from friends! 

How I Changed

I'm not really even sure of what to write except that I have been thinking about this post for a very long time.

How do you share the changes brooding within you when you yourself can barely wrap your mind around it?

I am not the same person I thought I was nor am I the person I thought I was going to be.

You see, it all began with marriage. It wasn't supposed to be--I mean, I never planned for it (though I desperately longed for it during those early-twentyish years of life). As a young girl I aggravated my tiny, princess-like girlfriends to death whenever they asked me about my dream prince. "Oh, I'm not going to marry," I would quickly reply. "I'm going to be a missionary and never get married ... being married is gross!"

(I think that came from my shy, easily-embarrassed nature and the way my mom always had us cover our eyes during movie kissing scenes ... so, since kissing is gross and you have to kiss when your married marriage has got to be gross!)

Later, I somehow managed to believe that marriage was a calling for the spiritually weak, those who couldn't handle fully living for God. (Can you say wow-was-she-ever-a-prideful-and-sorely-bigheaded-thing five times fast? :) This idea mainly grew from an insecurity buried deep within my girlish heart--I just knew nobody would want me. And rejection hurts. In defense I battered my hopes and dreams with a good dose of hypocritical spiritualism--no men interested in me? Why, that must mean God has something really big and really important for me.

Fast forward four years.

I got married. Married to a quirky, funny, amazing man of God. A man who loves the Lord, who dreams of traveling the world, of doing some sort of good for his fellow man, and who loves extravagantly. A man I wouldn't want to trade for the world.

But it hasn't always been a cake walk. My feelings of being called to something more "spiritual" than marriage bred ideas which I am now desperately trying to root out of my funny little head. Thoughts and questions around the lines of motherhood is a lowly job or submission is *so* old fashioned--who does he think he is anyway?, to what do I do with myself now?

During the early, joyous days of our marriage I battled years of wrong thinking. Who am I? What am I to do? What shall I be? Is marriage going to be enough? Will I ever accomplish anything important? My pride asked questions too--things like, Do you really want to live for somebody else? Did God really say that wives are to submit to their husbands? Do you really want to love and serve and sacrifice for children?

As I poured my confused heart out I was astonished to find such patience and care in the Lord and in my husband. Such love reminded me of how God is the author (and approver) of marriage and that He is the Giver of every good and perfect gift (marriage ... and my *awesome* husband!). I was instructed on the importance and joy of raising children and encouraged to find my worth in who Christ says I am and not in who I think I am. I was reproved for the selfish attitude I had toward children and excited when I realized that God leads exactly where He wants.

So, who am I exactly?

I am Francesca. Daughter of the King of kings. Wife of a gentle and good man. Keeper of the home. Sister. Friend. Aunt. Child. A hopeful, want-to-be-a-momma gal.

What do I do? I love. I dream. I attend college. I drink coffee. I sweep floors and fold socks. I make friends. I blog. I laugh. I create.

And that, my dear friends, is good enough for me.

Because where He leads is full of green pastures, still waters, and Him.

Loving and rejoicing in the exact place I've been put,
Frannie

p.s. Bailey over at My Holy Joy kind of inspired this post. You wouldn't believe how often she writes exactly what I've been dwelling on ... anways, why don'cha march over there and check her site out. I always find something amazing to think on. :)