Monday, September 1, 2014

Seven Marriage Facts I Can't Keep Quiet About

I thought I knew everything (or almost!) about marriage. I knew all of the Scripture written on two becoming one.  I had observed and spoken with several happy couples asking for their keys to success. My parents themselves were a great picture of matrimony. But experiencing something is a whole lot different than dreaming about it. Here are seven things I've learned since saying "I do" that I just can't keep quiet about!  
 

Marriage is way better than you have ever imagined

Marrying Dalton is the best decision I ever made. Life has been so fun ... I mean, every thing is better when you're living life with your best friend. I wish I had known just how wonderful marriage really is ... I hope our marriage is a constant declaration of how great and good God is.

Change is okay

I've written a lot about this but I cannot  emphasize this point enough. Marriage changes you ... and for the better. I am so thankful to God for molding and shaping my life (some times in ways my flesh finds uncomfortable) through our marriage. But it was really hard for me to accept that it was okay for change to happen. Really hard. 

Babies don't just come after having sex

(Goodness gracious! Did she just use the s-word ... yes, my dear, she did ;-) 

This seems like a funny point but it really is important. All my life I had an idea that babies were so easy to make ... it simply isn't true! And this can be very frustrating for the young, hopeful couple. Don't fret those first (and second and third and ...)  negative pregnancy tests and late cycles steal your joy ... learn to enjoy the days fully without frustration taking over. I promise you, that is the better way of making days joyful and good! 

Your body will change and adjust

So. Incredibly. True.

This is totally important. I had no idea that marriage would effect my body as it has. Emotions, chemicals, and hormones are all working on overdrive ... and I mean it!

 If you're anything like me you like having a certain amount of control over your own body ... so when you cannot explain the weird crying spells, do not understand your body's off track cycles, and feel like a fifteen year old girl all over again ... pour yourself a cup of coffee, kiss that amazing man of yours, stop apologizing, and relax. It's normal and you're doing an awesome job as a wife. 

It takes time

I wish I had known (more fully) this simple truth: A good marriage requires time. This is really important to remember. Some days marriage can be really hard ... like bickersome, miscommunication, unmet expectations hard. But then there are those magical days when it blending our two lives into one seems as natural as can be. 

So when it gets hard just keep on loving that great man of yours. Like some of my favorite characters say, "Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it?" Time always brings new beginnings.

There will be days when you feel scared to death 

I know this may sound like a disagreeable statement but I firmly believe that everyone faces this sometime in their marriage. It's a facet of love. After all, love, at the end of the day, is a renewed, conscious choice for your beloved. Good marriages are simply two committed souls choosing to pursue one another.

And there will be days when you wonder what in the world you were thinking. It could be hormones or maybe an unresolved argument or maybe your business went bust or maybe a child is sick ... no matter what the problem is fear will always try to use it as an entryway. It's a feeling -- something you should never build on.

Don't let it. Nip that fear, that nagging worry, in the bud. And then do something great for your spouse. Bake them cookies, give them a hug, or pray for them. I promise that that conscious action of love will whip fear in the backside and tell it to crawl back into the hole it came from.

And days when you know you made the best decision ever

Marrying my husband has brought so much joy and beauty into my life. I know God better because because of it. Life have so much more meaning because we are one. I laugh more. I smile more. Life. Is. Good. There is sweet, growing, beautiful peace which permeates our entire home ... and I'm so thankful for this chance of loving my man and journeying life together always.

So, there's 7 things I simply can't keep quiet about ...  if we were to meet for bagels and coffee you'd think I couldn't talk about anything else. Which thought resonated with you the most? Or maybe there was something else you discovered? I'd love to hear from you!! 

6 comments:

  1. I can identify with each of these Frannie! Especially on how it changes you. I came into marriage thinking I would not change much. But boy was I proved wrong... I am amazed sometimes at how I am not the same person emotionally, spiritually, and physically, as I was on the day I said "I do". My parents even remarked the other day on how they have seen a change in me. I was even told I am developing some of the same mannerisms as my hubby. (that was a very good thing they assured me...) GOD is using this area of life to mold and shape us, for HIS glory. :)

    Something I wish I had known before marrying? When I hurt, my husband hurts for me, and wants to help. And I have had to learn to let him. Whether that be holding me when I cry, listening to me pour out my heart, or even addressing an issue himself, he wants to be there for me. I just have to let him. :)

    Have a wonderfully blessed day my friend!

    Love in Christ,
    Angel

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  2. Frannie, it goes on all through married life...the changing, the adapting, the refining.

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  3. Frannie, I love you. You make me smile over and over and I miss you!!! I totally agree with you!!! And it's so nice and wonderful to hear someone who is totally beside herself with love and thanksgiving for the blessing God has given. I feel the same way about Mr. Robert. :)
    Love you sister!

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  4. Frannie, I love you. You make me smile over and over and I miss you!!! I totally agree with you!!! And it's so nice and wonderful to hear someone who is totally beside herself with love and thanksgiving for the blessing God has given. I feel the same way about Mr. Robert. :)
    Love you sister!

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  5. Hello dear Frannie!
    I have enjoyed reading through your blog and catching up. How lovely is your precious nephew! So glad for you sharing your sister's joy.

    I felt a connection with your post, and you did so well capturing it in words - the change, the unexpected, the glorious.

    God bless you friend!
    -Kansas sister

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  6. Dear friends, I just love your kind words! It is always comforting and encouraging to hear similar tales ... God bless each of you special ladies! I am so thankful for you!

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Hey there, darling!

I'd love to hear your thoughts -- leave a comment below and I'll do my best to give you a reply. There is nothing sweeter then hearing from my readers!

Love, blessings and a steaming cup of coffee,

Frannie Anne

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