There once was a girl who felt she could never
find love, never find victory, and never find peace.
Sexual
sins are the heavy skeletons we Christians like to bury deep in the back of the
darkest closet; we fear that dragging out that ol’ bag of bones will make
friends and family run fast in the other direction. We fear being vulnerable.
I am no different. I’m scared to death to
share my struggles with lust, masturbation, and pornography. What will my
fellow sisters in Christ think? What if my friends see this? What will I do if
Jim-dear ever comes across my blog? (Jim-dear=reference to future, unknown
hubby J)
Nevertheless,
I am so tired of hiding what Christ
has delivered me from. I am tired of not being able to relate with others my
own age because they see my head-covering and assume I’m from planet Perfection.
I’m saddened by the lack of openness among Christian women struggling with lust.
So,
this is my story. When
I was in my early preteen years I discovered the captive-taking power of masturbation
and pornography. My favorite websites to browse were chat forums full of vile
sin. The sweet innocence my parents desperately tried to protect was thrown out
the window by my very own hands.
The
world tries to convince young people (and older ones, too) that freedom and
happiness equates fulfilling our desires. This is not true.
I
am so thankful that Jesus continued to pursue my wretched heart and eventually
won the battle. I became a Christian. And life changed from that moment; I finally,
for the first time in my life, had the ability to say no to my lusts.
So,
this is where it is now. I still struggle. I still fail.
But
Jesus still loves me.
I’m
learning how to truly let Jesus be my all-in-all. I’m discovering that my
loneliness and temptations are, more often than not, reminders that I need to
draw closer to Christ.
Sister
in Christ, I want you to know that you are not alone. I want you to know that
Jesus really is all you need. I want you to know that it is totally possible to
be pure and at peace with God.
Jesus
is a real person. He knows our thoughts, ours pasts, and He still offers forgiveness
and victory over sin. He frees the captives and He lifts the face of the
ashamed and makes them whole.
Resting
in His faithful person,
Frannie
P.S.
It is my heart’s desire for these posts to be encouraging and uplifting. I know
there will be some who will shirk away from posts like this; that’s okay. And
if you have battled the formidable foe, Lust, drop me an anonymous (or
non-anonymous) comment and share your testimony or ways you have gained
victory. Comments like that would be encouraging! I do caution giving only as much detail as would be honoring and edifying. Blessings to you!
Frannie, thank you for being so honest!!!! Seriously, I'm so sick of hiding what God saved me from! Thank you!!! Thank you so much! <3 <3
ReplyDeleteDearest Frannie, this could not have been easy for you to write - I can't even begin to tell you how much I admire you for being brave enough to post this private struggle out for all the world to read. Some people may not be able to deal with your honesty; but I think your testimony is one of great power - firstly, because of the victory that He gives you daily over your temptations; and secondly, for the aura of peace and holiness that you project. You are His beloved daughter; and not only does He see it, but I know I do as well!
ReplyDeleteI want to share more of my heart with you, but it's past midnight and I don't want to sound too stupid ... I'll try again tomorrow. :-) But in the meantime, thank you very much for your post. You are a blessing to me!
Hugs,
Vicki
Frannie,
ReplyDeleteI do believe this is a stuggle for many young ladies.
Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share.
May God bless you today and always as you servie Him faithfully!
Dearly beloveds,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your encouraging comments. God is so GOOD to deliver us from all that holds us.
Blessings to you!
Miss Frannie