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It’s
1:30 a.m. and I strain my heavy eyes to peer across the dark room; I’ve been awake
for hours with nothing but fearful imaginations keeping me from my natural
sleeping pattern. I uneasily shut my eyes but every sound from the basement
door and scrape against the widow alerts my strained, tense senses.
I’m house-sitting.
Only two
weeks ago I wished for the pleasantry of being asked to care for some traveler’s
home—such a responsible and exciting step toward adulthood when those surrounding
you view you as capable and trustworthy. So imagine my joy when I was asked; imagine
the happiness and aptitude I found in fastening the spare key to my chain, in
opening the locked door, in walking about an empty home. (Not to mention the
fun of feeding my farm-girl sentiments and caring for horses J).
However,
as night habitually does, it quickly fell and I began to feel my unaccompanied,
lonely state. Settling into the blankets around me my mind seemed to find a storage
bin of frightful thoughts; you know the kind that alerts you to every
unfortunate (and dubious) possibility? Sinister neighbors, basement boogie-men,
and the ever-possible pack of ravenous, house entering wolves—don’t laugh too
hard. Simply put, I haven’t slept well the last two nights.
Why is
it that, at twenty-two, I still can be consumed with raw fear? Why is it that I
allow my mind, the mind bought and redeemed by Christ, to run freely with
whatever tickles its fancy? Why do I not remember Second Timothy 1:7?
“For
God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a
sound mind.”
If there
is one thing which I have learned in my life (and frequently forgotten) it is
this: my mind is able to be controlled and need not to be taken captive by
every thought. Our minds are tremendous things; they have the ability to
reason, induce fear, and produce great beauty. But an undisciplined mind is of
no use. Anxiety, fear, impurities, lust, anger, envy . . . all of these can be
produced and fed within the mind—but with Christ’s power we are able to cast “down imaginations, and every high thing that
exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every
thought to the obedience of Christ;”
So, if I
ever am asked to watch a house again I hope to learn from my two frightful
nights; I hope to remember my Heavenly Father’s promise:
“For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole
earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect
toward him.”
2 Chronicles 16:9
Joy to you!
Frannie
P.. The cute house picture above can be found at graphicsfairy.blogspot.com
Oh Frannie! Hang in there!! Keep trusting in the LORD because HE will and is caring for you:)
ReplyDeleteA few months ago I house sat/babysat 4 children and a house in the country (in the middle of a woods!!) for a whole week...wowee!! I was scared too and I certainly didn't want to be the first one up in the morning (had to get up by 5:30am to bring them to their school) because it was SO dark...
Anyways, a very stretching experience for sure, but God will use it in your life for good.
Much love and blessings,
Jenna
I can imagine that it was a scary experience, every little noise must have been magnified. The next one will be easier!
ReplyDeleteJenna, you are so right! I just finished watching the house a second time and found God was carrying me--no need to fear! I especially found that choosing to direct my thoughts instead of allowing them to be carried away was SO helpful.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your sweet comment!
Mrs. Elizabeth, Thank you! It did get easier and I do hope to learn from my silliness. Blessings to you!
Frannie