How to Make a Date out of $8 | Hyvee Magic

 

Around here, budgeting is a big deal and something my husband is *really good at.* We set aside money for fixed expenses including utilities, tithe, rent, gas, food and odds-and-ends. Budgeting was a little tricky in the beginning, but for the most part, we've learned what we need and how much money should go into each "area." We then save what is leftover.

 

Sometimes the end of the month can be really tight so when we discovered an extra $40 left in the gas budget (thank you $1.78 gas prices!) we knew we could have a little fun. First, we put $20 away for end-of-the-month emergencies (things like a low gas tank or unexpected necessaries) and decided to spend $20 on something fun. :) The first $12 went to lunch at a local eatery and the remaining $8 was split evenly between us ... and we went for a "spree" in the Hyvee grocery store. :)

 

Now, if you've never been to Hyvee let me have the honor of introducing you.

 

It's a place where fairies are born and every possible ounce of goodness is manufactured and wrapped in the fairest packaging. I'm fairly certain happy hobbits stock the cheese shelves themselves ... of course, they use ladders because the shelves are tall and lined with every kind of cheese. And my! I can't tell you how lovely the bakery is -- bagels, doughnuts, freshly baked bread and every delicious pastry sits behind glass covered cases. I'm convinced the very best baker of all the bakers found his way into the kitchen of Jefferson City's Hyvee.

 

Which is funny when I tell you who the "Muffin Man" is ... did you catch my nursery rhyme? 

 

The kind man who waited on us was a mustached gentleman named Guy who has worked in the bakery for thirty years.

 

And this tall, mustached, jolly man who has baked for thirty-years is pretty magical in my opinion.

 

We walked about for an hour deciding how to spend our fortune. Dalton was attempting to choose between a slab of meat from the butcher, a special protein drink or a deliciously large grapefruit. I was struggling over a $3 African Violet or visiting Guy and his bakery.

 

 

Needless to say, Dalton settled on $4 worth of thick-sliced bacon and I decided on a $1 crème horn, a $1.50 specialty brownie, and a $1.50 salted caramel mini cupcake.

 

Satisfied with our spree, we journeyed home. The cupcake was thoroughly enjoyed between us (and a fresh cup of coffee!). Bacon has been on the breakfast menu all week. 

And that, my dears, is one way to make a date out of $8. It really doesn't cost a lot to make memories and have fun with your spouse -- even if you haven't got $8 to your name, enjoy strolling your favorite grocery store, country lane or downtown park. :)

Have you ever been excited over a little bit of money? How did you spend it? Or, maybe you have a really good (and cheap!) date idea. I'd love to hear all about it!

With love and a yummy crème horn!

 

Pregnancy Tests and Baby Blues

It can be a very personal subject and one I haven't known how to discuss. Pregnancy troubles. Or, more specifically, struggling to get pregnant. 

It's been a hard journey to be on and one I hesitate to share with others; I've only been married for ten months, have not dedicated myself to certain timing methods, and am very healthy and well. I've been afraid to share because we haven't visited a doctor or even bought prenatal vitamins -- but when you're as newly married, healthy and young as we are sometimes doctor visits don't seem appropriate yet.

But, regardless of the circumstances, it has been hard.

And I want to talk about it because I think it will help.

This past week I had been hope-filled and dreamy-eyed. I thought I was pregnant. Nearly every classic symptom of pregnancy appeared to be taking its course so, with a hop and a skip and a merry heart, I bought two pregnancy tests.

The boxes tell you not to read the test after ten minutes but my sister, who has a beautiful 5 month bouncing, baby boy, read a positive only after the set time limit. So I assumed it was okay. Ten minutes after the timeline, a faint positive became visible in the tiny, plastic circle and with the visibility my heart leapt. I had thought I was pregnant at 3 different times within our short marriage so I was used to disappointment. But this time was different. I had a teeny-tiny-faint positive.

And my heart secretly soared.

I waited till the end of the week to try the second test. Like the first, it came out negative; in an effort to move on from my sadness I busied myself with prayer and tidying our house. Twenty minutes later I returned to find that a huge, big blue positive line had appeared. I began to plan how I was going to tell my husband the special news and began to put baby names together.

And then the bleeding began. I told myself it was simply the implantation phase; the natural process of the fertilized egg nestling into its new home. Natural. Good. Expected.

After waking up to the beginning of a normal period, I spoiled the surprise, nervously dressed, held hands with my steady man while picking out three tests and headed home.

The reading?

Negative.

I felt so stupid. How could I convince myself that I was pregnant after two originally negative tests and traditional pms symptoms? How could I be crying over my naivety? How could God have let me believe that I was pregnant? With the sweetness and goodness of a true man, Dalton held me, encouraged me, blessed me, and reminded me that birth is in God's capable, good hands. Of course, I knew that; I had faith in God and His timing.

But then I realized something very important.

Faith isn't faith unless it can withstand the valleys, mountains, and struggles.

Remember the Israelites and their journey through the desert? Very few of their company could be called men of faith; men of faith journeyed knowing that they would get to the Promised Land even when the food bags were sagging with emptiness and the last watering holes were three days backwards. Men of faith knew that the God Who had parted the sea would also keep His word. Men of faith didn't lose heart. And today, this very faith in God is demanded of us.

"Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God. But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. For we are made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning of our confidence stedfast unto the end; " Hebrews 3

Doubt is a very natural response to life's struggles and I am thankful to know that even our Lord Jesus was tempted with it and understands us. There is no condemnation in struggling with unbelief; but, for me, I wasn't doubting God's ability or timing in giving us a baby. I was doubting His goodness and His love. My inner man cried out saying, "Why, when I am living a life following Him would He deny me my heart's desire?" And that is where I want to encourage you, sweet one, if you are in the same boat.

Remember that God is good. O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him -- words the psalmist wrote long ago still ring true today. God is good even when life has disappointments and the way is long and the road full of pot-holes and steep ditches. He is good even when your pregnancy tests say positive but the science says negative and He is good even though your week-long dream becomes another example of your vivid imagination.

So yes, it has been a long journey.

A long, marvelous, God-filled journey.

And I am okay ... at least I will be.

I don't mean for this to be a sad tale or turn into a pity party; there are so many sisters in Christ who are struggling with this issue (and in much more painful ways). I also don't want to be accused of being foolish for not visiting a doctor. Like I said before, I am healthy and well and at this time I am more than okay with letting time take its course. I may change my mind but for now I am happy and content with that.

I just want to be able to talk about it and not feel silly. Because this pain I feel? It's real. And it affects both Dalton and I.

More than anything, I want it to be a growing experience. I want to walk away from these difficulties and be able to say that my faith grew, my heart expanded, and my love multiplied.

With love, blessings, and coffee,

p.s.

Sometimes learning to talk out your feelings can be embarrassing and really, really hard. Thankfully, I have an amazing husband ready to encourage my heart and dry my eyes, family who love no matter what, and friends like you ... who bring authentic sunshine into my life. :) Blessings to you!

Seven Marriage Facts I Can't Keep Quiet About

I thought I knew everything (or almost!) about marriage. I knew all of the Scripture written on two becoming one.  I had observed and spoken with several happy couples asking for their keys to success. My parents themselves were a great picture of matrimony. But experiencing something is a whole lot different than dreaming about it. Here are seven things I've learned since saying "I do" that I just can't keep quiet about!  
 

Marriage is way better than you have ever imagined

Marrying Dalton is the best decision I ever made. Life has been so fun ... I mean, every thing is better when you're living life with your best friend. I wish I had known just how wonderful marriage really is ... I hope our marriage is a constant declaration of how great and good God is.

Change is okay

I've written a lot about this but I cannot  emphasize this point enough. Marriage changes you ... and for the better. I am so thankful to God for molding and shaping my life (some times in ways my flesh finds uncomfortable) through our marriage. But it was really hard for me to accept that it was okay for change to happen. Really hard. 

Babies don't just come after having sex

(Goodness gracious! Did she just use the s-word ... yes, my dear, she did ;-) 

This seems like a funny point but it really is important. All my life I had an idea that babies were so easy to make ... it simply isn't true! And this can be very frustrating for the young, hopeful couple. Don't fret those first (and second and third and ...)  negative pregnancy tests and late cycles steal your joy ... learn to enjoy the days fully without frustration taking over. I promise you, that is the better way of making days joyful and good! 

Your body will change and adjust

So. Incredibly. True.

This is totally important. I had no idea that marriage would effect my body as it has. Emotions, chemicals, and hormones are all working on overdrive ... and I mean it!

 If you're anything like me you like having a certain amount of control over your own body ... so when you cannot explain the weird crying spells, do not understand your body's off track cycles, and feel like a fifteen year old girl all over again ... pour yourself a cup of coffee, kiss that amazing man of yours, stop apologizing, and relax. It's normal and you're doing an awesome job as a wife. 

It takes time

I wish I had known (more fully) this simple truth: A good marriage requires time. This is really important to remember. Some days marriage can be really hard ... like bickersome, miscommunication, unmet expectations hard. But then there are those magical days when it blending our two lives into one seems as natural as can be. 

So when it gets hard just keep on loving that great man of yours. Like some of my favorite characters say, "Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it?" Time always brings new beginnings.

There will be days when you feel scared to death 

I know this may sound like a disagreeable statement but I firmly believe that everyone faces this sometime in their marriage. It's a facet of love. After all, love, at the end of the day, is a renewed, conscious choice for your beloved. Good marriages are simply two committed souls choosing to pursue one another.

And there will be days when you wonder what in the world you were thinking. It could be hormones or maybe an unresolved argument or maybe your business went bust or maybe a child is sick ... no matter what the problem is fear will always try to use it as an entryway. It's a feeling -- something you should never build on.

Don't let it. Nip that fear, that nagging worry, in the bud. And then do something great for your spouse. Bake them cookies, give them a hug, or pray for them. I promise that that conscious action of love will whip fear in the backside and tell it to crawl back into the hole it came from.

And days when you know you made the best decision ever

Marrying my husband has brought so much joy and beauty into my life. I know God better because because of it. Life have so much more meaning because we are one. I laugh more. I smile more. Life. Is. Good. There is sweet, growing, beautiful peace which permeates our entire home ... and I'm so thankful for this chance of loving my man and journeying life together always.

So, there's 7 things I simply can't keep quiet about ...  if we were to meet for bagels and coffee you'd think I couldn't talk about anything else. Which thought resonated with you the most? Or maybe there was something else you discovered? I'd love to hear from you!! 

A Part of Me Missing

I miss my husband and I'm not ashamed to say it. 

But there was a time when I was ... When I couldn't stand to reveal to the world my need and desire for my one and only (or for anyone to be honest). 

You see, I grew up in a world where independence was looked highly upon ... No need for WWIII to break out just because daddy was away on a business trip. And I am so thankful for that--I'm glad that I learned not to fall to pieces when family members were away from the nest. 

Unfortunately, the independence I learned to value and appreciate created in me a distaste for anything dependent. Which can be a hazardous mixture in marriage. It isn't fair to your other half when you are okay with wanderlusting the globe alone and unattached; and, though it may reassure your traveling mate that you'll be okay when he or she is away, it doesn't speak love to be so nonchalant and capable when they're away. 

Everyone wants to know they are wanted.

Everyone needs to know they are needed. 

It wasn't until a friend told me that it was okay to feel lonely when separated from my beloved. That it was normal to feel like half of me was missing ... since half of me truly was. Freedom broke out in my heart. It's okay to need someone; to not want to leave without your other half; To miss others. 

So here's to missing my husband ... May the interestate grow smaller and smaller in distance and the home lights burn brighter with each passing mile.