Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Ten Ways to Make Your Courtship Amazing

          Courtship has been an amazing time in my life; I am learning so much! Often I speak in the abstract, sorry readers!, and I fail to make a lick-of-sense … does that make sense? So today I’ve decided to post ten different ways to make your dating/courtship amazing. And (cross your fingers) they are proven, tested, methods I've found beneficial and lovely. Enjoy!

          © Be honest

          Honesty is super important in all realms of life and being transparent and speaking the truth in love has been one of the biggest blessings in Dalton and I’s relationship; it let’s us know where the other is at in their life. I learned this one the hard way; I was not honest, in fear of hurting his feelings, and in the end I hurt him more. So speak the truth, with love, and trust God to care for the rest.

          © Learn his love language and lay it on thick

          Learning your beloved’s love language can be one of the funnest (is this a word?) aspects of your relationship. Is he a gifts kind of man? Then enjoy making cookies, crafting homemade cards, or bundling up his favorite snack. Does he enjoy quality time? Then make it your practice to seek him out and enjoy his presence. Not only will you bring joy to his heart but you will learn how to recognize and receive the love he is giving.

          © Keep communication open between all lines

          Communication is key and it is not limited to you and your loved one. Talk with your parents, your siblings, your friends, and those older and wiser than you. Talk about how you are doing; ask questions; request prayer.  Joshua Harris in his book Boy Meets Girl said that the best thing you can do with your lips isn't to kiss but to communicate and I whole heartedly agree.

          © Pray

          I believe that God is the author of our lives and this includes our relationships. He is the King, the Sovereign, so communicating with Him is important. Pray for your loved one. Pray for your relationship. Pray for His will to be done. Pray for God’s glory. And pray that you will be molded into the woman your man needs.

          © Respect your differences

          Bringing two lives together is bound to reveal differences. You may love sweets (cupcakes, and sour-gummy worms, and coffeecake … oh my!) while he may avoid sugar like the plague. He may like his coffee cold while you like it piping hot. And sometimes you might adore a certain gray cat named Mr. Pippens, (aka Pip or Pip-my-boy) while your man hates is learning to tolerate said cat. J Differences are going to appear; sometimes they will be important, striking differences and now is the time to discuss and evaluate what is a preference and what is a conviction. Be honest. Enjoy your differences. And ultimately, have fun discovering what unifies you.  

          © Breathe aka have fun

          In our relationship there have been moments when I was absolutely perfect worried, frenzied, almost-to-the-point-of-crazy. I had read so many courtship books and felt I knew exactly how it ought to be done; I feared straying from the cookie-cut mold I thought to be right. So we had our days when I spent our time freaking out only to have my mom tell me the now-worn words, “Frannie, you need to relax. Maybe you should take a nap?” J She was right. Your relationship is not going to look exactly like the couple’ s on the front cover of your favorite book. In fact, once you learn how to let go and trust God (and your man) your relationship will blossom.

          © Let him lead

          Ahem, let me say that again, let him lead. During your courtship there will be opportunities for you to observe this man. Is he capable of leading? What is his leading style? Can you submit to this guy? Unfortunately, the only way to discover this is by actually doing it.

Now, please do not mistake me, you are not his wife and you are still under your father (or other God-given leaders) authority. But when your man is trying to lead in basic things let him! If he suggests a Bible study take him up on it. If he says to turn left to get to a certain health food store please, for the sake of his sanity, do not turn the opposite direction and go the other way … I tried this and it does not work. L
I know, I know, you’re a capable young woman. It’s true. But carrying that mentality into your relationship will create problems. Find ways to let him take the lead and then let him do so; I promise, God will work through that man of yours.
          © Respect the boundaries
          I grew up thinking that I, Frannie, would never, ever struggle with boundaries. First of all, ewwwww. Second of all, I have spent years laying my physical desires before God and desiring Him to be glorified in every thought and action.
          Welp, throw in a very attractive man who loves me and I discovered that boundaries are very desirable. It isn’t about being afraid that you’ll make an mistake or a moral boo-boo or disappoint God and community. Boundaries aren’t even because you can’t be trusted. Both Dalton and I are young people who have sought God’s reign over our mental and physical purity for years yet we would agree that having a “game-plan” is good. Ultimately, boundaries are about respecting God and His good will for your lives above your own weaknesses and desires. Don’t be afraid to talk about boundaries. Don’t be afraid to ask for them. Don’t be afraid when you bump into them. Fix the issue, pray, communicate, let your man lead, listen to authorities, and move on. Courtship is meant to be a beautiful time--don’t let ignorance or failure ruin it.

          © Explore

          Explore this man of yours. Observe him. Discern his gifts and talents and encourage them. Find out what makes him tick. Discover his preferences, uncover his hidden self and show yourself to be trustworthy and loving. Treasure what makes him unique. Gently explore his heart and then enjoy the stream of love and trust that bubbles out from inside his hidden man.

          © Accept, Accept, Accept!

          Accept him as he is. Accept that he is a sinner in need of the same grace you ask for each day. Accept his compliments. Accept his desire to lead. Accept his background and heritage. Accept his forgiveness. Accept his approval and his corrections. Accept his family. Accept your differences. Accept his love with a gratefulness.
       There you have it! Ten fun ways to aid in making your courtship amazing. Of course this isn't the end-all of lists; it is simply my little thoughts and observations on what has helped grow, or hinder, our relationship. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter!


  1. Ok, I absolutely LOVE this post! It's very possibly the best article I've ever read about courtship. It's literally everything in a nutshell. Maybe I especially like it because you're a young lady like me, but for me, this has put everything about courtship into perspective. Thank you! And thank you for allowing God to use you to write posts that help others. You're such an encouragement. Keep it up! :)

  2. This is an interesting post and one I have saved for future reference!! =)Love you, Frannie!!


Hey there, darling!

I'd love to hear your thoughts -- leave a comment below and I'll do my best to give you a reply. There is nothing sweeter then hearing from my readers!

Love, blessings and a steaming cup of coffee,

Frannie Anne

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