Confessions + Me // Angry, Christian and Confessing

Confession: I have an anger problem.

Wow.

I bet you didn't see that coming, did you?

But I type the truth. I have an anger problem.

And to tell the truth, it's humbling. Beneath this combed, primed and sweet complexion is a woman who still needs to grow; a woman who yearns for authenticity; a woman whose blood boils when she doesn't get her way and whose frustrations rise when she loses an argument or is criticized.

For as long as I can remember I have struggled with anger; not the fist throwing, wall punching, bad-word saying anger. But the quiet, teary-eyed, throat burning, heart thumping anger that is still as much a sin as the first.

And, for the first time in my life, I want to face it. I want to call sin sin and then I want to call upon my Savior Who died for the fits of temper and wrath which can fill my heart. I want to grow.

I've surprised you, haven't I?

It's okay; I don't doubt it.

You see, my whole life I have learned to push away my feelings, my anger, my hurt, my wishes so that others might only see what I wanted them to see. In 5th grade it was a matter of hiding my hurt when I wasn't chosen for the team or group project; at 25 it's a matter of hiding my feelings when my husband asks me how I am or a friend disagrees with my opinion. You'd never know that there was more to my cool-as-a-cucumber outlook ... until I blow-up in a angry torrent of temper and attack. (I save that for my poor husband and family ... those special few who know me enough to look beneath the constant sweetness.)

There's a lot I want to write on and even more I want to mature in; I want to be real, authentic. Most of all, I want to be full of virtue, character -- to have a heart that reflects our Father God's.

And the first step was acknowledging that I didn't have it all together; that I, Frannie Anne Duncan, have an anger problem.

Thankfully, God's Word has a lot to say about this.

 

Thankfully, for me and all my fiery-tempered sisters and brothers out there, God never calls us to be or do what He will not equip us to be or do. That gives me hope. I can truly be tenderhearted and I can forgive. We can put away bitterness and evil speaking and anger.

 

What about you? Have you struggled with anger in your life (even if it's itsy bitsy?). How did you overcome?

 

With love, coffee and a rejoicing spirit,

Submission + Freedom Go Hand-in-Hand

photo credit  ♥

photo credit  ♥

"Submission leads to the awareness that happiness should not be based on whether we get our way."

Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline

 

Happy is the woman who treasures what God treasures. As I strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman I am challenged to (truly) believe that submission is a beautiful trait God values. It isn't the crushing, negative loss we're led to believe ... it is the "freedom from the need to always get my way." And, sweets, isn't it nice to know that we are free to not always have our way? I don't know about you, but I have ruined enough days battling for what I want.

 

So here's to submission: may we see the beauty, radiance, and freedom this God-treasured trait grants. And may sunshine and love fill your hearts today.

 

 

The Joyful Servant Heart

Greetings dear sisters,
I hope this finds you all well and warm during this winter season; it has gotten very cold in our area, in fact, we had our first snow today!! Praise the LORD! It is quite late tonight, but a thought came to me which I cannot pass by. I have so much to learn and am thankful for the period of singleness Christ has given me; this time is a time for me to observe and learn from various couples and also from the Word of God on what marriage is and can be.
Like many young ladies I have the desire to marry, Lord willing, my “Jim dear.” :o) I have been thinking on the characteristics, struggles, and responsibilities of being a wife. Lately, the thought of serving my husband by cooking, washing, cleaning, and raising children all sound like sweet chores I could bear cheerfully. I can imagine myself smiling sweetly while caring for my duties. But then the thought came, “DO I do this now?” Do I serve my family faithfully without a grumble or complaint? Lately, I have found myself forming a bad habit—I will serve somewhat cheerfully for about five days and then, humph, the “I’m tired, over-worked, and under-paid” attitude surfaces. Is this the faithful, loving, and servant like heart that Christ desires to give me? Or is this a slothful, sinful, and self-serving attitude? Does this character quality build or tear apart my family? Hmm. . .I afraid this attitude I’ve been displaying tears my family down.   
I find it difficult to believe that what I practice now will not carry into my future. Sure, cooking, cleaning, and serving my own family sounds like sweet bliss now, but how will I act when my kitchen is messy, my dear husband is late, the mountain of laundry appears insurmountable, and little Timmy desperately needs my attention on his math homework? Will I sacrifice what I believe are my rights? Will I cheerfully bear the cross Christ has given as He did His? Oh, by God’s grace, I hope too. But until that time, I think I need to practice serving consistently and faithfully, full of joy and peace. Some practical things I can do to accomplish my goal are: 1. Read and meditate on the Scriptures which speak about servant hood, being a virtuous woman and being a godly wife. 2. Daily give up my rights and learn cheerful, sacrificial love for my family. 3. Learn to find my joy in the Lord whether my circumstances be pleasant or not ( I think this is a big one!). :)
Dear sisters, it is my hope to be the woman I dream of being. . .perhaps you feel the same way? Let us press on in our walk with Jesus, lovingly obeying Him; He will give us the desires of our heart!! T sum it all up, here are two quotes that I truly appreciate. I have shared them before, but they fit so nicely:

“An undutiful daughter will prove an unmanageable wife.” -Benjamin Franklin

"If you would have a good wife, marry one who has been a good daughter.” -Thomas Fuller

God bless you sisters!

With love,

Frannie

P.S. The lovely painting seen above was taken from this link: http://www.oceansbridge.com/oil-paintings/product.php?xProd=62635&xSec=4053&xCmd=gallery

Ah, the struggles of a blank mind

 Greetings dear sisters and friends! It feels like many moons have passed since I last wrote, but these are the struggles of not knowing what to write. I hope I’m not the only one who suffers from blank mind! So, to break my silence I thought I would just share a few things going on in my heart, mind, and home. :)

♥  First, fall is coming. . .at least it feels like it here in Missouri! While the leaves are not changing we’ve had a dramatic change in temperature and it is such a blessing! It is a great joy to have our windows open, work outside without a heavy humidity drenching our bodies, and being able to enjoy a walk. Truly, our Lord is a kind God who gives us lovely summer, but also a refreshing fall!

♥  Working at the daycare is teaching me so much. I’m learning necessary things like when to change a diaper, how to judge fairly between two squabbling pre-schoolers,and  how to feed an infant without painting his face with carrots. I’m also learning important things like patience, how to snuggle with a little one when they’ve woke up from their nap, and how to forgive a naughty attitude. Truly, God was serious and wise when He said that we young women need to learn how “to love their children.” Titus 2:4 I have so much to learn it isn’t even funny! But God is good and patient with me and I thank Him for making children understanding and patient too. :)  Here are some of my favorite quotes from the kiddos:

1. Me: “DO you like your new motorcycles?” Little boy: “Yes, Daddy let me get them since they are not too many dollars.”
2. Three year-old boy: “Will you help me pick out a name for my new baby?” Me: “Well do you like any boy names?” Little boy: “Well, something like Grandpa.”  :D 

♥   My family and I are doing well despite my having a cold, Momma an ear ache, and Daddy battling with allergies. :) Tomorrow, Momma and Jeremiah will be leaving for a trip to Alaska, and so I’m preparing to be the keeper of the home (although I will not be able to fill the lovely shoes my Momma has!). :o) That means I get the challenge of scheduling myself to do some chores and preparing dinners. A definite learning experience! Beyond having dinner prepared and a sparkling floor, I hope to be a blessing and joy to Daddy. . .for home keeping is so much more than physical things, but a chance to refresh and bless our families! Please pray for me that I may use my time wisely and be a blessing! 

♥  Lately, the Lord has been teaching me how to lean on Him—to lean on His everlasting love and grace for trials and temptations. The Lord has also been using Romans 6 and 8 to teach me that He has conquered sin and that He has given me the victory over it.

“What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?  God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?  Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?  Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.  For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection:” Romans 6:1-5

We do not have to be worried or feel hopeless against sin or temptation. If we are born-again Christians, we have been given the same power that Jesus used when He rose from the dead . . .we have victory! Oh glory! What a lovely reality! I have found it so hard sometimes to fight against temptations, but by God’s grace, I hope to rest in the victory Jesus has provided for me. And when we are able to live victorious lives, we will be a light and example to others. Another thing my Lord has been teaching me lately, is that He is a good and benevolent wise God. His wisdom is unsurpassable and we can trust in Him. What a lovely thought! Illness, death, family problems, and any other difficulty cannot separate us from the love of God and we can safely rest that He will work out all things good for those who love Him. I’ve been clinging to Proverbs 3:5-6 which reads,

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

I don’t know about you, but I have heard that verse all my life, it is almost cliché', something we write on graduates cards or for those who are ill. Lately, however,  the Lord has given it real life and meaning to me. If I trust in the Lord with all my heart and if I don’t lean on what I understand (which is often very limited), He will lead my paths. Lately, I’ve been facing some unknown possibility and God has been allowing this verse to comfort me. I don’t understand why and I don’t know what my future holds. “Will I be able to be a missionary?” “Will I be able to go to school?” These kind of thoughts float through my mind and I praise the Lord that, if I rest in Him, He shall direct my paths. Whatever those paths are, He will be there. What a glorious thought! Sisters, let us wholly lay our futures, dreams, and paths down at Christ’s feet and allow Him to lead us. He is good! (And His path is the only one worth walking!) :o)

♥  Well, I best be going. I hope you all have a blessed week with Jesus.

With lots of love and sweet thoughts,

Frannie 

“He’s Still Working on Me, to Make Me What I Ought to Be”

Greetings dear friends in Christ! I hope all had a growing day today, for those are the only ones worth having! Today I was very blessed by a message called "Embrace the Struggle." This sermon greatly challenged, stretched, and encouraged me! I was so blessed by many of the points, I just had to share a few with you! I hope they can be a timely encouragement! Just to let you know, this is kind of long! :o)

1. Growing up is natural. Physically speaking, growing pains are natural things that we must experience. Mentally, maturing is a normal and needed thing. And this is true for our spiritual walk. Ephesians 4: 13-15 says, “Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”

Christ expects us to grow up. And in order for us to grow up we need to learn to embrace it. I know in my life comfort has become an idol to me. The easy road is soo appealing, and sometimes I feel like “I’ve arrived" and I’ve nothing else to learn. What a deceitful, ungodly, and sinful lie! Christ redeemed and forgave my sinful past, but I am to walk on into His holiness.
“Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience: In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them. But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:” Col. 3:5-10.
Yes, sisters, we need to grow up in Christ. And growing hurts, but it is right.


2. While we were once slaves to sin, now we are slaves to righteousness.
“Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness.” Rom. 6:16-18.

Because we have been born again, we have the blessed responsibility and privilege to live for Christ (and this responsibility is quite lovely because He first loved us). Growing up in Christ requires us to yield ourselves to Him- submission. *Do I hear an inward groan/squeal coming from the hearts of God’s daughters?* I know my heart often groans when I think of submitting myself to the Lord. Why? Because it is my sin nature fighting against the perfect and holy will of God; in short, I want to be in control of my life. Oh, how sad that I must battle with my good Creator and Father when He knows best for me! Submission is hard, but it is necessary and good. I have seen good and lovely fruits and blessings come from when I joyfully yield my heart to my Lord (and my authorities). While obedience is sometimes difficult, sisters, let us seek God’s ready grace so that we may be obedient to Him. Anything less is sin.

“But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;” 1 Pet. 2:9”

3. While God requires us to grow up, He does not expect us to do it on our own. In fact, He will work this in us. Our pastor pointed out that growing up in Christ is like being a caterpillar in a cocoon. We are to morph. 

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Rom. 12:1,2.

Taken from Webster’s 1828 dictionary, “transformed” means: “Changed in form or external appearance; metamorphosed; transmuted; renewed.” “Metamorphosis” means: “Change of form or shape; transformation; particularly, a change in the form of being; as the metamorphosis of an insect from the aurelia or chrysalis state into a winged animal. Any change of form or shape.”

Christ is very clear that He wants a real change in us; a change similar to the metamorphosis a caterpillar makes into a butterfly. Something interesting is that being transformed requires a bit of wrestling. In order for a butterfly to come out of its cocoon, there is a bit of struggle that must ensue. Our pastor told a story on how a man wanted to help a struggling butterfly out of its cocoon. Using a sharp object, he carefully cut the cocoon and out came the butterfly. However, instead of flying away, the butterfly lay on the ground, unable to properly use its wings. Why? Because the butterfly did not struggle (which is natural), his blood was not properly pumped into his wings, making him useless. This sad story relates to our Christian walk. Becoming like Christ is a difficult struggle, but the struggle makes us stronger. It is necessary. There is no spiritual growth without a struggle. 

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” 2 Cor. 5:17.

This message really encouraged me. Lately, because of my own luke-warmness and sin, I’ve felt like I could never attain any of my godly aspirations. But God reminded me that it is He who wants me to be a godly woman, a self-controlled girl, a missionary, an obedient and submissive child, a forgiving Christian. He wants these for me (and so much more!) and will give it to me if I only obey! And while it will not be easy, it will be worth it. As one pastor once said, “Sitting in the relaxing chair is a delusion, a false reality in the Christian life” and that “There is no easy street in true Christianity.”

Jesus knows our frame and our sinful natures. He knows that without Him, we are wicked, dying souls. But He has made a way for us to be made whole again, and through His power we can be like Him. Oh, the wonderful love of Jesus! Let us only “Embrace the Struggle” and live our lives whole-heartedly sold out for Jesus!

God bless you dear sisters as you seek after Christ. We have all heaven on our side!

With love and blessings,

Frannie

Picture was taken from:  http://www.scienceclarified.com/Ma-Mu/Metamorphosis.html

And message was preached by: Pastor Hamm.

Peace Challenge

Greetings my dear sisters in Christ! Today is a lovely spring day and I am blessed to be alive.
 "Cause me to hear thy loving kindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk: for I lift up my soul unto thee" Psalms 143:8
I've been blessed by this verse today. . .I'm to trust in Jesus' loving kindness and He is kind! So often I mistake the loving God we serve as a God who wants to squish me for every wrong doing. But no, God is a kind and loving Father who has provided me the way to trust Him and to walk in His ways. His grace is sufficient for me! Praise God!

So my purpose for this post? I took up the Peace challenge given by Jenna at Feminine Farmgirl. I had been visiting Jenna's blog and had noticed that she was giving challenges for girls to practice different godly virtues and I was so blessed and excited! So when March's challenge was given I signed up with high hopes of attaining the peace of God. Unfortunatly, I must say that I did not follow this challenge faithfully. There were days when at night I would think- "Oh no! The day is done and I have not even thought of the peace challenge!" I often forgot to seek the peace of the Lord and tried to fix the problems I faced in my own strength. I have much to learn, but I thank Jesus for His patience with me! So here is my report of the peace of God in my last month and how this challenge has personally helped me.

This month has gone by so quickly. . .tests have loomed over my head, bedroom floor issues have moved Daddy and Momma out of their room and into mine (I am thankful they can use it. . .I tell them their renting from me! :), I've been making my bed in the living room, and I have been dealing with many struggles in my Christian walk. To put it simply--this month was not a month of natural peace for me! But I am thankful for Jenna's challenge because it reminded me that I can seek the peace of God. Jesus wants to give me peace
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Tim. 1:7 What a lovely verse. . .God has given us sound minds. When I first became a Christian I strongly struggled with the fear of becoming insane, ( I know that sounds strange) but I was very afraid! Jesus showed me this verse and comforted me in that He wants and has given me a sound mind. He does not want me to be afraid, but to trust in Him and that leads to a sound mind. God is so good!

I had applied to College of the Ozarks (a Christian school three hours away that has a work program which allows students to be debt free). I was very excited and felt like I was going to be accepted (I had applied one time before and was rejected). The long-awaited day came when my supposed confirmation letter arrived in the mail. But, for some reason, God chose for me to remain at home. I struggled greatly with this. . .I had such high hopes and had been dreaming about the day I would be able to quickly pursue my education (with the blessing of my parents). I went into my room and remembering the peace challenge wrote in my journal and tried to give my trouble to the Lord. I found this very difficult and can say that I did not lay it all before the Lord,. . .but by looking up a few verses and showing the Lord my problem I was able to see that God had a plan. And he still does. I must say that lately I've been struggling with a feministic point-of-view (I'm ashamed to say). For the last five years I have wanted nothing else, but to marry (if God allowed me), have children, raise my children as a keeper of the home, and to walk in the grace of my Lord. But lately I have fallen in the trap of feminism, and it is a trap so contrary to God's will. Since God did not allow me to attend College of the Ozarks He has been slowly changing my views of having a career, marriage, and godly womanhood away from the world and back to Him. (I bless Him because He is answering my prayer in that I knew I needed Him to change my view of womanhood). I say all of this because it was an instance where I needed the peace of God. God is still working on me--teaching me that His way is best and that He will never leave me nor forsake me. I have much to learn, but I feel like the peace challenge helped me focus on the Lord instead of my problems! Plus, I would like to join the April challenge which for the first week of April is self-control and dress. If you would like to join too you can find the details at Feminine Farmgirl. I'm excited!
May the Lord bless your day today dear sisters. Seek Him because He will give peace!
With love,

O What Joy That Fills My Soul- The story of a clean conscience

Dear sisters in Christ,
 Greetings on a bright and beautiful Missouri day! I hope your day is as beautiful as mine. Well, I have some very good news. I am rejoicing in the Lord's goodness in leading me in forgiveness and repentance. I've had some struggles (and am still dealing with them) in different areas in my life. My heart has been misleading me and I have fallen head first into different areas of sin and rebellion to my Lord- being discontent with my life right now, covetousness, rebellion to my parents (in subtle hidden ways), being unsubmissive, vainity, love of self, and a judgmental heart. Praise the Lord He shows mercy to those who call on Him! I know that many if not all of these areas gained strongholds in my heart and so it will be a battle to overcome them, but  "because greater is he that is in you [me], than he that is in the world" I can have victory through Jesus my LORD! 1 John 4:4. As you can tell I'm very excited.

I just want to encourage every girl to maintain a pure and clean conscience before the Lord. We must remember that He is holy and requires us to be so as well. I hope to continue "in well doing" and apply my heart to godly things. Here are a few good things I can do, we all can do, to continue and press on in the Lord.

~ Learn to love the LORD with all our heart. I can do this by finding joy in His will- things like obeying my parents, loving my siblings, being modest inside and out, controlling what I see and hear, speaking only good and pure things, watching what my mind thinks on, and offering my life as a living sacrifice. These things seem so simple, but they really require an effort on our parts. Good works do not always come natural to us. Find practical ways to improve in the good works God desires of us!

~ Have a daily quiet time and prayer time. Oh the joy that comes from having a quiet time! I've neglected this many times and have learned that it does not pay off. Something I've learned is to make your quiet time your own. Enjoy it. I've been trying to read at least one chapter from the Old and New Testament each day and then I write down any lessons I've learned. . .this has helped really soak in what I read. I've really enjoyed this and look forward to pressing on! :)

~ Think on good things. Oh the difficulties that plague me when I choose to think on ungodly things! Let's remember that we are not our own and that God requires us to be clean in the heart. He alone can see our  impure thoughts (sin) and it grieves Him dear sisters! Let's remember Philippians 4:8 which says,
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

These are just a few things that I know I can improve on. God has given us such an important opportunity and privilege in serving Him. Let's do it with all our hearts dear sisters!!

God bless you as you press on!
 With love,

"And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." 2 Tim. 4:18

We Are Not Our Own

"What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's." 1Corinthians 6:19, 20

Dear sisters in Christ,

 Greetings in Jesus name! I hope this finds you well and growing in the Lord. I know I am. Last night after listening to a Charity Ministries tape by Brother Rick Leibee on the crossroads in life (Youth Bible School 2001) and listening to a tape titled "Ye are Not Your Own" from Youth Bible School 2009 by Brother Tanner Leibee, I became very convicted. Brother Rick Leibee spoke on the different crossroads in life that many young people face- our death, vanity, the world, and so on. I am very convicted because I have become closer to the world, merging with it in tiny ways, befriending it. A little bit of worldly music, a little bit of gossip, watching wrong movies, and caring too much for myself. This has brought much grief to my heart as sweet peace left and confusion took its place. Why, I wondered, am I facing so many trials and difficulties? Listening to "Ye Are Not Your Own" I realized that I am not my own and that I am Gods. It doesn't matter if I do not feel or want to obey, I am not my own. My desire and hope is that as I grow closer to the Lord and become more fully and truly His I will want to obey. . .sweetly and quietly. I hope this post will be an encouragement to you. If you are fully surrended to the Lord. . .good, praise the Lord. But if you are struggling with your flesh and doubts, I would encourage you to turn to God's Word and allow Him to point you the way. Ask Him for His help and trust in Him. He is the way, the truth, and the life. Only He can give abudant life.

I looked up the word surrendered on http://www.merriam-webster.com/ and found the below definition very interesting.

Surrendered

transitive verb

1 a : to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand b : to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another

2 a : to give (oneself) up into the power of another especially as a prisoner b : to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence)

intransitive verb

: to give oneself up into the power of another : yield

May we as Christians and daughters of the king wholeheartedly fit the above definition.