Just In Case . . .

“Just in case you ever foolishly forget; I’m never not thinking of you.”

 

-Virginia Woolf

Ten Ways to Make Your Courtship Amazing

(source)

 

          Courtship has been an amazing time in my life; I am learning so much! Often I speak in the abstract, sorry readers!, and I fail to make a lick-of-sense … does that make sense? So today I’ve decided to post ten different ways to make your dating/courtship amazing. And (cross your fingers) they are proven, tested, methods I've found beneficial and lovely. Enjoy!

          © Be honest

          Honesty is super important in all realms of life and being transparent and speaking the truth in love has been one of the biggest blessings in Dalton and I’s relationship; it let’s us know where the other is at in their life. I learned this one the hard way; I was not honest, in fear of hurting his feelings, and in the end I hurt him more. So speak the truth, with love, and trust God to care for the rest.

          © Learn his love language and lay it on thick

          Learning your beloved’s love language can be one of the funnest (is this a word?) aspects of your relationship. Is he a gifts kind of man? Then enjoy making cookies, crafting homemade cards, or bundling up his favorite snack. Does he enjoy quality time? Then make it your practice to seek him out and enjoy his presence. Not only will you bring joy to his heart but you will learn how to recognize and receive the love he is giving.

          © Keep communication open between all lines

          Communication is key and it is not limited to you and your loved one. Talk with your parents, your siblings, your friends, and those older and wiser than you. Talk about how you are doing; ask questions; request prayer.  Joshua Harris in his book Boy Meets Girl said that the best thing you can do with your lips isn't to kiss but to communicate and I whole heartedly agree.

          © Pray

          I believe that God is the author of our lives and this includes our relationships. He is the King, the Sovereign, so communicating with Him is important. Pray for your loved one. Pray for your relationship. Pray for His will to be done. Pray for God’s glory. And pray that you will be molded into the woman your man needs.

          © Respect your differences

          Bringing two lives together is bound to reveal differences. You may love sweets (cupcakes, and sour-gummy worms, and coffeecake … oh my!) while he may avoid sugar like the plague. He may like his coffee cold while you like it piping hot. And sometimes you might adore a certain gray cat named Mr. Pippens, (aka Pip or Pip-my-boy) while your man hates is learning to tolerate said cat. J Differences are going to appear; sometimes they will be important, striking differences and now is the time to discuss and evaluate what is a preference and what is a conviction. Be honest. Enjoy your differences. And ultimately, have fun discovering what unifies you.  

          © Breathe aka have fun

          In our relationship there have been moments when I was absolutely perfect worried, frenzied, almost-to-the-point-of-crazy. I had read so many courtship books and felt I knew exactly how it ought to be done; I feared straying from the cookie-cut mold I thought to be right. So we had our days when I spent our time freaking out only to have my mom tell me the now-worn words, “Frannie, you need to relax. Maybe you should take a nap?” J She was right. Your relationship is not going to look exactly like the couple’ s on the front cover of your favorite book. In fact, once you learn how to let go and trust God (and your man) your relationship will blossom.

          © Let him lead

          Ahem, let me say that again, let him lead. During your courtship there will be opportunities for you to observe this man. Is he capable of leading? What is his leading style? Can you submit to this guy? Unfortunately, the only way to discover this is by actually doing it.

Now, please do not mistake me, you are not his wife and you are still under your father (or other God-given leaders) authority. But when your man is trying to lead in basic things let him! If he suggests a Bible study take him up on it. If he says to turn left to get to a certain health food store please, for the sake of his sanity, do not turn the opposite direction and go the other way … I tried this and it does not work. L

I know, I know, you’re a capable young woman. It’s true. But carrying that mentality into your relationship will create problems. Find ways to let him take the lead and then let him do so; I promise, God will work through that man of yours.

          © Respect the boundaries

          I grew up thinking that I, Frannie, would never, ever struggle with boundaries. First of all, ewwwww. Second of all, I have spent years laying my physical desires before God and desiring Him to be glorified in every thought and action.

          Welp, throw in a very attractive man who loves me and I discovered that boundaries are very desirable. It isn’t about being afraid that you’ll make an mistake or a moral boo-boo or disappoint God and community. Boundaries aren’t even because you can’t be trusted. Both Dalton and I are young people who have sought God’s reign over our mental and physical purity for years yet we would agree that having a “game-plan” is good. Ultimately, boundaries are about respecting God and His good will for your lives above your own weaknesses and desires. Don’t be afraid to talk about boundaries. Don’t be afraid to ask for them. Don’t be afraid when you bump into them. Fix the issue, pray, communicate, let your man lead, listen to authorities, and move on. Courtship is meant to be a beautiful time--don’t let ignorance or failure ruin it.

          © Explore

          Explore this man of yours. Observe him. Discern his gifts and talents and encourage them. Find out what makes him tick. Discover his preferences, uncover his hidden self and show yourself to be trustworthy and loving. Treasure what makes him unique. Gently explore his heart and then enjoy the stream of love and trust that bubbles out from inside his hidden man.

          © Accept, Accept, Accept!

          Accept him as he is. Accept that he is a sinner in need of the same grace you ask for each day. Accept his compliments. Accept his desire to lead. Accept his background and heritage. Accept his forgiveness. Accept his approval and his corrections. Accept his family. Accept your differences. Accept his love with a gratefulness.

       There you have it! Ten fun ways to aid in making your courtship amazing. Of course this isn't the end-all of lists; it is simply my little thoughts and observations on what has helped grow, or hinder, our relationship. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter!

 

How to Come to God When You Have Done It AGAIN

(source)

          It is Wednesday, August 28, 2013 and I’ve done it again. I’ve sinned; fallen short of the glory of God. I chose to serve myself before Him.  I had an unfaithful heart. I was ungrateful. I was unkind. I was disobedient. I was judgemental or compromising. I was _________ (you pick). Sin has a tricky way of sneaking up in my life; as James says, sin starts as a thought, turns into an action, the action turns into sin, and sin turns into death. It’s a cycle I experience far too often and sometimes I wake up feeling like I can’t go to God again. I can’t face Him. I can’t.

          Have any of you felt this way? As if the void you created (again) between you and God is far too wide and long to be breached? As if coming before Him (again) is too much to ask for?

          “God, I’m not worthy enough,” you say.

          “I’ve gone too far”

          “I’m lost.”

          Wait one minute, sister. On your own you are not worthy enough. In your eyes you are too far away. Without Jesus you are lost. But Jesus doesn’t stop there. He does not refuse any one who calls on Him in true repentance. Instead, He sits on His mercy seat, interceding for us. For me! For you! The very God who is holy and righteous, who watched you commit the very act you hate, is the same God Who loves you and calls you back to Him.

          If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

          This is His promise, dearie. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ; repent, stand up, and let Him work beauty from those ashes.

         Love to you!

 

 

When You Realize

Via

Love: Is it Fuzzy, Hot, or What?

Earlier, a dear friend of mine asked me what love feels like. I loved this question because I wondered the very same thing before I met Dalton. I suppose it is different for everyone and there are so many different types of love. My love does happen to have a romantic side; however, it is the agape, the friendship love which draws us two together every day. So, here it is, my feelings of what it feels like to be in love.

a Knowing you are safe

a The warmness of autumn candles flickering in the evening

a Knowing that that pimple, the swollen, pulsing one on your forehead, will be overlooked with laughter

a Forgiveness and new chances

a Swimming among the coral in Hawaii—full of life and discovery

a Grinning through tears because your forgiven

a Security

a Knowing someone so well that when fear and doubt enter you can send them packing

a The summer sun shining on your shoulders—bright and new

a The knowledge that you will be chosen above others and the decision you’ve made to choose that person above all others

Love is quite wonderful and along with the beauty there is a lot of learning and sometimes even pain. Like the time I realized love=marriage=leaving my beloved home. Or when we discovered how untrusting and proud my heart really is. And what about the day when I uncovered the truth about love; the day I found out that love is ultimately a choice. A choice to love and serve that person above yourself.

It’s scary because for the first time ever I really am called (or forced) to die to myself. Sure, I was supposed to be dying to self years before but all of a sudden the dying is instantly vital. Relationships will not blossom if one refuses to surrender their will.

Ultimately, this pain turns into beauty. Forgiveness is granted. Encouragement is given. Hope brings about change and change brings about appreciation and appreciation brings about love and love brings about, well, all those lovely things aforementioned.

It really is quite frightening to imagine myself being in love, to be so dependent on someone. But then again, that’s what I was created for, to love and be loved.

Ultimately, love has the same sort of feel as home does. It’s full of laughter and good smells, teasing and rebuking, safety and acceptance (even when your outfit doesn’t match and your breath is less than fresh). My love for Dalton feels like I’m returning from a long journey to my old, comfortable place called home. Learning, growing, confessing, accepting, believing, and belonging occurs here and I’m able to slip on my fuzzy slippers and relax knowing that I’m in a safe place.

What does your love feel like? We younger ladies would love to hear tales from some who have walked before us!

v i a

 

 

Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark.

 

v i a

For the Future

“Wedding vows are not a declaration of present love but a mutually binding promise of future love. A wedding should not be primarily a celebration of how loving you feel now-that can safely be assumed. Rather, in a wedding you stand up before God, your family, and all the main institutions of society, and you promise to be loving, faithful, and true to the other person in the future, regardless of undulating internal feelings or external circumstances” 

Timothy Keller – The Meaning of Marriage

The Garden Knew

 

v i a

heavenly love

There are moments when being open and honest and authentic seem to be an impossible, severing task.

Times when it feels like you are exactly the kind of woman you vowed to never be—selfish, proud, and fearful.

Seconds soaked with fear and worry.

You were finally asked to reveal your naked soul, the ugly crevices in your mind, will, and emotions; to show just how dark and sinful you are.

Asked to pull off the mask of niceness and speak the thoughts and fears you never wanted to speak.

And you stand, shivering, waiting to see how you will be received.

You wait and wonder and feel that running away is the only probable solution; maybe you could change your name, your country, and go on through life without this pain by being alone and a stranger.

 

. . . 

Then the magnificient happens. He stays. They stay. He takes your hand. She speaks words of healing into your wounds.

And you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Jesus Christ just revealed Himself through this mortal person. The God of love showed Himself through the love offered.

The love which believes all things, endures all things, hopes all things and bears all things. 

And you know that it will be alright. That forgiveness and new chances are available. Hope springs forward, upward, into your soul and you rest in the full assurance of heavenly love.

 

There Are No Strangers

Hello dear readers,

Please stop whatever you are doing, read this story, and listen to this song: 

No Orphans

by Avalon

“Who here among us has not been broken

Who here among us is without guilt or pain

So oft’ abandoned by our transgressions

If such a thing as grace exists

Then grace was made for lives like this 

There are no strangers

There are no outcasts

There are no orphans of God

So many fallen, but hallelujah

There are no orphans of God 

Come ye unwanted and find affection

Come all ye weary, come and lay down your head

Come ye unworthy, you are my brother

If such a thing as grace exists

Then grace was made for lives like this 

O blessed Father, look down upon us

We are Your children, we need Your love

We run before Your throne of mercy

And seek Your face to rise above." 

w o w. 

Am I right?

 

I can talk all day about loving others; I can discuss the homeless and the difficulties of knowing who to give to and exactly how much without corrupting. I can pretend that I care about investing my money into God’s work by buying smaller Starbuck lattes (hey, I love java chip frappuccinos with a slight slosh of raspberry) yet when a real, tangible moment of giving comes … well, I tend to let it slip by.  I can imagine my life full of good works instead of facing the reality that it is full, to the brim, of leisure Pinterest time, dessert eating, and just-one-more-pair-of-cute-*affordable*-shoes moments.

 Who am I really living for?

Who am I really serving?

Does my walk really reflect my walk?

 

Of Dreams and Seasonings

v i a 

 

Yesterday, while browsing through Bass Pro Shop with Dalton and his family, I had the most exciting thought. One day, one day, Lord willing, I will make strong coffee over the fire. I'll start the morning by poking sleepy children and urging them to dress in their play clothes and adventure to the trees or stream. I will spend time shaking out pebble covered sleeping bags or quilts. I'll make time to read some passages of God's Word by the fire, on the picnic table, or to some little ones nearby during a time of rest. We will go for a walk, hand in hand, breathing in pure air and being satisfied with the love and assurance of each other and God.

It was a quick thought and within a second I woke from the dream and remembered that we were still in today standing somewhere between the aisles of flashlights and canopies and seasonings. I also recalled that he had not seen the impressive alligator so, with the skills of a girl who often roamed this store with her parents, I quickly led him to the mighty beast; all while treasuring these things, both the present joys and the future hopes, within my little heart.

:)