Sunday, December 30, 2012

Looking it Over


 
It’s a new year and I feel heartbroken.
 
One year ago I returned home from Ghana, Africa. I was so full of hopes and dreams and desires. I wanted to be the most impacting young missionary ever. I wanted to be God’s angel sent to earth full of love and God’s good news.

The year’s nearly past and I look back and want to cry. A year’s worth of failures. I’m not sure if some years are worse than others or if I’m just becoming more observant.

I want to cry when I think of the days wasted. The friendships wounded. I mainly want to cry because I know I’ve gone backwards in my walk with Christ.

I also rejoice because in all my frustration and sorrow I see glimpses of His dear, faithful grace. I've learned to forgive this year. I've caught new dreams. I'm learning to release the life He's given me back into His capable hands.

Shannon, a dear sister in Christ, shared this quote which I find incredible:

"The only way to have a stainless and beautiful year at its close— is to keep the days, as they pass, all pure and sweet, with the loveliness of holy, useful living. It is thus, in little days— that our years come to us. We have but the one small fragment to fill and beautify at a time.

The year is a book, and for each day— one fair white page is opened before us. And we are artists, whose duty it is to put something beautiful on the page. Or we are poets, and are to write some lovely thought, some radiant sentence, on each leaf as it lies open before us." -J.R. Miller

My heart hurts as I look over this past year and see so many wasted moments. But I look to Christ and I am trusting Him to take me as I am and continue to finish the work He has begun in me.

He is my sanctification and redemption.

Monday, December 24, 2012

The Beautiful Couple


         
         Hello dears! I hope this finds each of you rejoicing in the good news of Jesus Christ! He has come into this world not to bring condemnation but hope and love. I am thankful to God for bringing His Son into this world and redeeming us through His death! He is good and full of mercy!

This post is a little unusual for Christmas Eve.

It is about this fear that I have.

          I’m afraid that one day, whenever my Lord wills, I’ll enter into a relationship with a man a rule book. I’m afraid that if ever Jim-dear comes asking for my heart I’ll hinder the relationship because…well, we have to follow the latest, most conservative and fool-proof form of courtship/dating.

          I’ll worry about how he will lead us . . . what if he wants to be different than the regular (albeit boring) Prince Charming found in the courtship how-to manuals? I’ll fear the disapproval of others when they find out he doesn’t quite believe in you-name-it.  What will they say when we break the normal, cookie-cutter standards found in the parent handbook on “How to Get Your Young People Married Without Any Heartbreak and Physical Contact”?

          What if they, whoever the mysterious they are, find out we’re just two unique individuals seeking God and His will for us?

I am afraid that my silly, irrational fear of man will never disappear; that I will never be ready for marriage because I am too concerned over what others think.
. . .

And then I see one of my best friends enter into a courtship, a glorious, outside-the-box courtship. Then they became engaged. It is not by-the-book but it’s God-led. It’s pure. It’s beautiful. It’s original. It’s a breath of fresh air. It’s joyous.

Watching their love grow for God and one another encourages me to not be so afraid; has He not promised to lead? Has He not promised to guide? Will He not give wisdom? Do I really need to seek the approval of man or only the approval of my loving Heavenly Papa?

Thinking on this gives peace, sweet heavenly assurance of His validation and guidance. And I’m not so afraid.

I wonder if I am the only one who thinks this way. Do any of you older sisters have advice for us younger egglets? I sometimes think the incredible resources, sermons, and how-to books my generation has been raised on not only raises a high standard (which is wonderful!) but also fear of failure. Some of us want to be so perfect we miss the point.

We miss the beauty God places in each unique relationship.

What do you all think?

Frannie

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Christmas Tag



Christmas Tag!

Hello dears! My sweet friend Vickie sent me a Christmas tag . . . so fun! If anyone would like to answer these please feel free to copy and write your own answers. It’s a lot of fun!

What's your favorite Christmas song?

Hmm . . . I love Christmas songs. LOVE THEM. I listen to them in July; I suppose my absolute favorite Christmas songs are “Peace on Earth” from the opening scene of "Lady and the Tramp" and  “A Soldier’s King” sung by Kenny Rogers.

 
 
 

Do you change your favorite Christmas song every year?

 Not really 

What Christmas song do you hear the most?

“I’ll be Home for Christmas” 

Does your family mostly agree on what Christmas music to listen to or are you constantly changing the song?

We’re all pretty traditional when it comes to holidays so we often listen to well-worn, well-loved songs.  

Who's your favorite Christmas movie side character?

Oh dear. I’m afraid I don’t watch a lot of Christmas movies. Would it suffice to say I love Jimmy Stewart?  

Besides George and Mary Bailey who's your favorite character in It's a Wonderful Life?

Violet Bick   

Do you like Santa Claus in Miracle On 34th Street?

I’ve never seen it! 

Vera Ellen or Rosemary Clooney in White Christmas?

Haven't seen that either! 

Bing Crosby or Danny Kaye?

Oh dear. May I ask who Daddy Kaye is?

In my defense, I believe Mr. Crosby has a lovely voice.  

Besides "White Christmas" what is your favorite song from the movie?

Haven't seen it  

What's your favorite (or one of your favorite) lines from a Christmas movie?

Has anyone watched “Seasons of the Heart”? That is a dear movie. I enjoy the scene when little Danny repeats the story of Jesus’ birth while playing. So broken and sweet.

Do you own a special ornament?

My favorite ornaments are the one’s my grandmother gave my momma. Those are sweet.

Did you break any ornaments this year?

Not yet but we only put it up a week ago.

What's the oldest ornament on your tree and where did it come from?

My mom’s ornaments from her childhood

 Do you like pretty trees or fun trees better?

Pretty 

Have you ever had a fake tree?

Afraid not! 

Green tree or a different color?

I prefer green trees best. I’m a bit of a traditionalist. J 

Who sweeps up the pine needles and waters the tree?

Since we use a fake tree we try not to water it too often . . . you know, not really necessary. However, we all pitch in and sweep around it when necessary.   

Have you made any Christmas crafts this year?

I’ve made Christmas cards . . . wonderful fun!

Does your family read a Christmas story every year?

It seems that Mom and Dad tend to take turns each year reading sometime in the afternoon.

If so, which one?

Luke

What do you do on Christmas Eve?

Christmas Eve is my favorite. At the end of the day Momma and Daddy give us each a wrapped gift of new pajamas . . . a wonderful idea which replenishes the tattered pjs of old. 

How many Christmas's do you usually have?

Just one 

Marshmallows or whipped cream in your hot chocolate?

Mmm . . . marshmellows 

Do you like the flavor cinnamon or peppermint better?

I dislike cinnamon and a like pepperment 

Have you ever had a white Christmas?

Living in Alaska for 16 years ensured me of this blessing 

Ice skating or driving around looking at Christmas lights?

Can we please do both? I have so many good memories of cleaning our pond and skating about and also driving with my dad and mom downtown looking at lights.  

Do you like the blow up Christmas decorations people put in their yards?

Hmm . . . I personally don’t care for them but I like to see everyone’s different personalities  

What is something you are going to do new this year to celebrate?

This year our Christmas is going to be a little less and a little more homemade. J I’m finding it sweeter than normal.

Have you ever celebrated Hanukkah?

No, I haven’t 

How many people are you giving presents to this year?

Ha! Like I wrote my sister, "I'm as poor as a boon-dock cat with one eye and a limp during the 1930's Depression."  I can’t even afford the atm fee.  :)
At first I was pretty discouraged and wondered what I could give.

Then I remembered my card making supplies.

They're simple but full of homemade love.  

What's your favorite kind of Christmas card to receive?

I love cards which are personalized: pictures, a sweet note . . . 

Do you eat breakfast first or open presents first?

Open presents first and then have our traditional breakfast of coffee and cinnamon rolls

Stockings first or last?

First 

What present do you really want this year?

 Oh dear. Well, I am hoping for a copy of Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secrets and a few new shirts. 

Do you like a star on the top of your tree or an angel?

Star

Do you like the color red or green better?

Both! My family has lovely, soft green walls in the living and kitchen and I love it. Red, however, is beautiful in small accents.  

Silver or gold?

Well, I don’t wear jewelry so I don’t really have a preference concerning that. But I do like soft, metallic silver which is quite pretty.

One word to describe Christmas?

Christ
 
* * * 

I really am excited for Christmas this year. My parents have done a really good job making it a time for sweet fellowship and family time. They have also emphasized the real reason for Christmas—giving thanks for Christ’s incarnation.

I hope that each of you have a blessed Christmas. May your hearts be filled with hope and encouragement!
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."
Philippians 2:5-11

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Because He's Good . . .

 
“Do we believe we're loved by God because we're good, or are we loved by God because He is good? If we think we're loved because we're good, we will live under law, guilt, pressure, and under siege - held hostage by our fear of failure (and a desire for justice). We will also do the same to others, requiring their conformity to our standards before we will move toward them to bless their lives. If, on the other hand, we believe we're loved because God is good (though we are not), then we will live under grace, under His covering, released from fear. We will be able to love others with integrity and gratitude because of the overflow of God's love in us" - Nancy Groom
 
. . . . .


A friend typed this on Facebook today and I just couldn't help myself. I want to cry. Is this what's wrong with me? Could it be that so many of my failings stem from my misunderstanding of why God loves me? Why He loves others?
I fill like sunrise is filling my heart and I cannot contain it.
 

Monday, December 17, 2012

The Greatest Beauty


 
. . .
“The king's daughter is all glorious within:”
Psalm 45:13

Thursday, December 13, 2012

A Finishing Reflection


 
My hearts swells with thankfulness and praise. Another semester under my figurative belt; so many blessings wrapped in one large, over-stuffed bundle of tests and textbooks. Typical moments of procrastination, stress, and hopefulness. All gone. Swept away with the passage of time.

It’s funny how this semester, this year, will never be again. I will never sit under the exact same teachers and I will never sit with the exact same students. The moments of pure frustration are gone along with the opportunities each class gave me.

And next semester, there will be new chances. New tests, books, and students will fill my days. Will I use them better than this semester?

You know what I hate almost more than anything? Getting something I don’t deserve. Whenever I’m able to squeak by with as little effort as possible—I hate that. Will I do that next semester? Will I sit in class only to meet requirements or will I really learn. I suppose it’s a daily choice.

I must say that this semester has been my hardest; yet, it was full of blessings and joy. It truly was a once in a life time moment. And I am so thankful to God for seeing me through.

Next semester will be beginning in the coming weeks. I want to embrace it. I want to meet it with my arms wide open and my heart willing to work, hard if need be. I want to be purposeful about every assignment and most importantly about every relationship I build. Purposeful in my prayer life for my fellow students. Purposeful in my field experiences. Purposeful with my time—remembering that I am only a steward not an owner of it.

How has your latter part of the year been? I would love to hear!

                   With much love,

                             Frannie 

P.S. Thank you all for you encouraging words and prayers! I love having a “family” of sisters in Christ all around the world!

Sunday, December 9, 2012

It's Final-ly Here!


This is it!

This is the week of finals and I am . . . I am . . .

  . . . .

Excited.Prepared.Not prepared. Screaming.{And everything in between} Drinking coffee.Thinking.Hoping.Dreading.
 
I’m actually pretty excited; some people get adrenalin rushes from bungee jumping or driving too fast. I chase finals. It’s very strange, I know, but while I dread finals I also love them  . . .  in the same way I imagine the young men of Indian tribes feared and loved the difficult task of entering manhood. We must do it. We can’t stop it. So let’s embrace it. 
Keeping calm, looking to Jesus, and making this for Emergent Literacy:
 

 
With love,
Frannie

P.S: My Author/Illustrator presentation went pretty well! My new shoes left me slit marks in the back of my heels but all-in-all the group pulled together! 
P.S.S: Vickie! Thank you for the award; so fun! Sometime this week I hope to get it up! J

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Presentation

 
 

This is kind of how I feel as I dress, rehearse, and prepare for my group presentation tonight in Children’s Literature.
 

Must bring honor.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Loving with all our Hearts


 
Once upon a time, there was a girl who dreamed of being an English teacher, a missionary, and a wife and mother. Her dreams were wonder-filled; full of hope, excitements and plans. How she would teach! What organization skills she would employ! What tender love and oversight she would give to her own babes.  Naturally, she spent time preparing for these dreams. The young and fool hearted girl just knew she was destined to be the mother, teacher, and wife of the year—she could almost feel it in her bones.

There was only one, slight problem; almost hidden, in fact. The girl did not love others. Oh, she tried hard enough. She loved to put on her happy face and cleanest apron and take homemade cookies to her neighbor widow. She loved to dress up her young relatives and spend the afternoon (and only the afternoon, mind you) in loving play. The young girl even liked to help others—as long as they were grateful.

The truth of the matter was that whenever people did not meet her expectations, the young girl quickly grew frustrated and irritated. Perhaps it was the unruly children she was trying to teach about Jesus—my, they never do sit perfectly still! Or maybe it was the new couple at school; she doted on them until she noticed how ill groomed and mannered they often were. Simply put: she loved to help others until she discovered they were unlike her.

Briefly, we should pause and explain the situation a bit better. It is necessary for you, the readers, to understand that this poor girl was very unhappy and disappointed. She knew in her heart she was not thriving in her relationship with God—in fact, she often felt He was far off and distant. She knew she was growing more and more irritated and frustrated by the day. “If only people were more agreeable! Then I could behave properly,” she would silently say. The unhappy, unChrist-like girl spent more time pluming her “best friend, best sister, best cousin, best teacher in the whole world” feathers and yet wondered why life wasn’t as sweet as she had hoped.

One day, the young girl came home to unexpected company. The two guests were very unlike her but she decided that she would be christianly and put on a good show. She tried her best to make them comfortable but she often became flustered whenever they forgot to be mannerly. She tried to keep sweet  until they forgot to offer help in the kitchen. She tried to be cordial . . . but every time they did not meet her expectations (and she was keeping a mental list!) her heart grew more and more cold.

Eventually, she found a convenient excuse and was able to quickly send them away.  “The nerve of some people!” Then she sat down in her empty living room, observed the empty dining room, and became acutely aware that the lack of noise seemed to be far louder than when her company was here. A sense of wrong-doing and emptiness filled her heart; hadn’t she been right to send away such unwholesome, strange folk? Hadn’t she fulfilled her duty? Why then did she feel so . . . so . . . wrong?

Quickly, she called her trusted friend and retold her troubles. Of course, the dear comrade made no condemning remarks; she simply asked if what was done was right. Immediately, the girl’s heart was smote. Once her irritations had disappeared she realized she never fed her company. She shamefully recalled that she had not offered them a warm bath before traveling. She remembered that she had sent them out in the dark, out into the dangerous night.

Shame washed over her. Had not she been born-again? Had not she God in her heart? Why then, did she not love people? Why was it so hard to live for others when they could be so disagreeable?

Dear readers, there is hope for this young girl. There is repentence and forgiveness. There is the sufficient grace of God which enables all of us to live holy lives. God is holy and gracious and He gives very stern warnings on how we treat others:

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality

Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.

Romans 12: 10, 13

 

“Let brotherly love continue.

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

Hebrews 13:1,2

 

“Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:

42 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:

43 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.

44 Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?

45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.

46 And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

Matthew 25:34-46

 

“And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.

 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.

Matthew 18:5,6,10

 

I’m afraid I have a lot of growing I need to do—to really love others even when they behave, live, dress, believe and speak so different than I; to really serve others like Christ serves me. This is my heart’s desire. That is my dream.

 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

1 John 4:10,11

Sunday, December 2, 2012

In Which She Makes (not another!) List



          love, I mean like, Blimey Cow. I love being challenged to think new thoughts while laughing my head off; I love comparing the realities of “You might be a homeschooler if  . . .” with the amazing life-like videos. Please go and check them out if you already are not one of their thousands of visitors.

          Needless to say . . . I’m not here to report on Blimey Cow. I’m actually here to begin a fun process entitled (clearing throat):  Monthly Report Cards. This fantastic idea came from Kelli over at She Learns as She Goes. (Perhaps you’ll recognize her from, where else but, Blimey Cow) J

          Basically, I hope to set a few attainable, helpful goals for each month and then at the end I will give a report card. For example, if I make one of my goals to daily quill in my journal and yet only actually pen a total of 3 days, I might make an F on the report card. Or, perhaps I will make it a goal to do some sort of crafty thing once a week, and actually do so, I may make a B+ or an A. (Oh, how the student in me loves A’s.)

          So, with no further ado, my list:
 

Make Meals Daily.

Yes, I do eat daily. But, more often than not, I haven’t been the one preparing them as of late. And that isn’t as it should be. So I resolve, whether I have class that day or not, that I will somehow, someway prepare something for supper. My men will have nourishment!
 

Finish the Semester Strong

We’re almost done and almost out of steam but I really want to push through and finish this semester well.
 

Finish two Books from “Currently Reading Shelf”

I wonder if you’re like me: starting a book, setting it down, beginning two or three more and never finishing any of them? I believe I have about five books desiring to be thoroughly read and put away. I am aiming to finish two of them this month.

 
Help Decorate for Christmas

I shouldn’t be a scrooge just because I am (for some strange reason) really enjoying the fall decorations still. J
 

Memorize Matthew 6-7

Recently, some friends and I began a Bible Memory club (which has proven helpful and fun by the way!) Starting in October, we were assigned to memorize Matthew chapter 5. This past November Matthew chapter 6 was supposed to be mastered . . . alas, it is now December 1st and I only have a few verses completed. I must make memorizing a priority this month.

 
Return Rented Textbooks and Order New Ones

It’s that time of the year!
 

Actually, Truly, Follow-through with this

If you’ve been visiting here long you already now I have a habit of getting really excited about something and then never finishing it. It's very sad. Therefore, the real test is whether or not I will follow-through and “grade” my goals come the end of December. J
         

I am really excited to see how this goes; I love accountability as much as I love working with others so I feel this may be helpful (as well as fun!). I’d better scoot on to bed . . . big things are happening tomorrow!

May God richly bless you!

Frannie
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